Into the Woods..

The Christian walk is a journey through the woods. You only have one path. It's not a game path, not very wide or well-known. Yes, it has been traveled many times by many people, and there are markers left for you to follow, but it is narrow. And long--longer than you could ever hope to see. This narrow path is filled with dangers: fallen branches, trees, large boulders, snares, foot-falls, tree roots, acorns, and pebbles. The forest to either side is dense, thick with low hanging branches, thick ropey vines, and impenetrable underbrush. Within this scary forest are many dangers than those that cover the path before you--you just can't see the dangers in the woods. There are creatures that prowl the night and the side of your path, just waiting for you to wander off trail. Lions, and tigers, and bears, (oh my!) are lurking just beyond the shadows, thirsty for your souls. Even if you were able to escape the beasts in the woods, there are still the cliffs to avoid. On either side of the path, in the intense darkness of the woods, are very high cliffs. Falling down one would be certain death, and what's more, you cannot see them until it's too late and you're already falling.

That is the danger that waits for us beyond the borders of this narrow track that we try to follow in our Christian lives. Many times, we wish for a spotlight, gazing ahead, straining to see what awaits for us, what trees to climb over, what obstacles to go around, and if there is anyone ahead that we can follow. But as we gaze ahead, we trip over acorns, and fall flat on our faces. Or we drift, going off the path and into the dangerous abyss where evil lies in wait to take hold of us and sink its venomous teeth into our flesh. Looking ahead and what we cannot see in full detail blinds us to the danger right before us. We do not need a spotlight. We need a flashlight, a miner's hat with the little light on the front.

God's word is a light to our feet and a lamp to our path. Using His word as our guide, we can overcome any obstacle, AS IT COMES TO US, not before. The point of walking this path is not to see what is ahead. It is to walk the path in a way pleasing to God, trusting Him, believing that He will carry us through.

Drowning

i've fallen in this black pool;
can't touch the bottom.
i'm kicking to re-surface,
trying to calm my racing heart.
i look up to the sky,
but i only see darkness.
there is no surface,
no glimmer of light shining through
the ripples of my struggles.
i'm surrounded.
i'm being closed in on all sides
by darkness.
i can't get out.
this black ink is thick,
like tar,
suffocating me,
dragging me down deeper and deeper.
i need a way out. i need air.
i need a hand to pull me out of this black water.
O God please don't leave me down here alone...
Please provide some light in this black abyss,
pull me up,
or push me down to the bottom,
to the very bottom
so i can push myself up to freedom.

Blessed freedom,
sweet, unclogged, pure air.
I've almost forgotten how it tastes.

Someone please save me from myself!

Sickiness

It's all Mabee one's fault.. they were sick first, and because they're my brother floor, i hung out with them a lot, and i got the sickness that had gone through their whole hall already..
Being sick at college is not fun.. Mainly because there isn't a mommy around to take care of you, make you chicken soup, get medicine, call your teachers, etc, and all that good-nurse-you-back-to-health stuff.. it's ESPECIALLY hard when your parents live on the other side of the world in Asia.
but oh well.. Life goes on, the homework piles up, and... interestingly enough.. you realize how much people notice you when you're not there in class.. I've lost count of how many people commented on how they missed me in class, or noticed it was quieter, or how it was more boring, or just noticed i wasn't there. it's a bit of a confidence booster actually.. not enough of one that i'll try to get sick more often! but still. it's very nice to know that people you only met about a month ago actually and genuinely care and notice when you're not there or just not feeling well.
So basically, thank you to everyone who noticed i was gone on monday, and thank you to the wonderful and amazing nurse who gave me LOTS of drugs!! :D (i love drugs.. teehee.. and i mean that in the non-druggie sense.. cuz i'm not a druggie. i just take pain meds and cold meds when i need them). and thank you April for sending me to the nurse, to all my floor mates who've been wishing me good health, and praying for me, etc.. and helping me do homework... and to my mommy who kept bugging me and checking up on me.. :) I love you mommy! (if you ever read this...)

This is me

This is me.
I struggled for about.. five minutes.. trying to decide what 'meaningful and well-developed' subject I could write about. Many ideas bounced around my head, but none of them fit quite right. I could write about coffee, and make it look and sound meaningful, but I've done that already. I could write about my boyfriend, but I talk about him all the time. Also, nothing I could say on here would ever compare with the real thing or with me just talking about him.
But I want the point of my first blog to kind of tell you about me... So here I go, even though I'd rather talk to you in person.
Wow. this is harder than i thought.. Ah forget this! I'm going to write about something I love, and if you think I'm interesting, you can come and talk to me yourself. :p

I have the strange obsession with twilight. :) and no, it's not the book series. I'm talking about the actual time between night and day. You see, I grew up in the Philippines, and what I miss most about being there, is the twilight. Between 5 and 6 pm the sky will transition from robin's egg blue to ebony black. I remember sitting on the second story railing of one of the buildings at my high school, just staring up into the gorgeous many-hued sky.
On the west horizon the sky is the prettiest blue ever, and as the sun proceedes to hide, the sky ranges from blushing pinks and reds to warm lavenders and bright oranges in the middle. A little further on, and the sky blends to dark royal blues, and plum purples. Finally, as your eyes reach the grey mountains, the sky is darkest ebony, and the stars just begin to twinkle in and out of hiding. The clouds in the sky add to the Great Artist's design and float listlessly across the sky.
That is my home... The land I grew up in and the land I love. I do not look like the people there, but I have the same heart and I love and miss the people of the Philippines desperately. Coming to America was not as hard as I thought it would be. I began preparing myself for the transition last summer before my senior year. I kept at it all year long, and lo and behold! Graduation sneaked up behind me, screaming and scaring me out of my wits.
After the first initial scares, things began to settle down and life finally away from my high school turned out to be good, much to my surprise. Basically, I let go of everything I once held dear, and let it all fall away into GOD's Almighty Hands. I refused to hold onto my past, my friends, the mistakes I had made. I let GOD have everything, and was left with HIS blessings, and with joy and peace at knowing GOD was in control. HE provided friends in advance for me, both at college, and at the mission's conference I would attend two and a half weeks after graduation. At the mission's conference, I caught up with a couple old friends who will always be there for me.
That's basically all I can think of sharing right now. There's a lot more to me, and I don't wear masks. Basically, if there's anything you want to know about me, PLEASE feel free to ask. I'm always ready to answer, and I will answer most any question, no matter now personal. I'm of the opinion that we should be spending every minute that we spend with other people being open, honest, and real, asking questions and getting to know each other all the better.