Into the Writer's Soul

surprise surprise...

2010-10-18T22:16:00.002-05:00

I suppose another update is needed.

uhm.. not really sure how to say all of this, cuz certain members of my family are requesting that certain information is not published online anywhere.. so it's hard to explain everything on here. actually it's impossible to.

but the gist of it is... my time in Australia is drawing to a close. Quicker than I/we expected it would. the original departure date from Australia to New Zealand was 14 Nov, and from New Zealand to LAX was 20 Nov. Now.. I'm leaving two weeks early. 1 Nov, I will be leaving for New Zealand and hopefully flying to LAX that same day. Hopefully ALSO on the same day, I will be flying to DFW, where someone will pick me up and drive me to my Grandma's house.

I haven't yet changed my tickets (cuz I'm at uni right now, and I forgot my travel documents and passport at my student housing XP), but that's the plan! and somehow i'm going to pay for it all as well.

I would leave sooner, but there is the "small" matter of the Bald Prima Donna, which is a play I'm running sound for. The play is 28-30 October, (hence my 1 Nov leave-date), and it is theone thing left that I have started and want to finish in its completion before leaving.

Recently I've really been struggling in my faith, or lack thereof. With the recent family crisis, I'm having to relearn that God really is ALL that I have that is stable, even though sometimes we have dry spells or it seems like He's not there. Basically, I'm coming to the realization that I must trust in God. b/c there is NO OTHER WAY for this to work. I'm very short on cash, and I have no way of getting any income until I'm back in America and working. Oh, nor do I have a job lined up. so ya.. Please pray for me and my family as we go through a REALLY hard time.

I suppose there is some good to all of this and the crappy situation that I find myself in. I now have two weeks to do everything in Australia that I've wanted to do, but not done, since arriving here. I'm prioritizing what's really important, and what is secondary or tertiary. There are so many people who I want to do stuff with before leaving. And because of Bald Prima Donna rehearsals, I have to have all of these activities scheduled! with almost no flexibility room. :(

so.. things that I want to do!

1) take pictures of the sunrise AND sunset from Flo Harris Lodge roof

2) go to the beach!!!

a) get SUBMERGED in the ocean

b) have a barbecue and sleep on the beach.

c) then get up and see the sunrise

3) watch the Castle

4) do things with specific people in my student housing

5) make a mural/poster with Mariah and Flo Harris people

6) take pictures of random signs

7) see a show at the Sydney Opera House

8) eat kangaroo steak!

and a whole lot more that i just can't remember at the moment...

I will refrain from putting my actual "to-do" list of not-fun things...

until next time!

In recent news...

2010-10-10T07:51:00.002-05:00

ya.. it's been about two months.. sorry guys. life gets busy

so 6 weeks down, and 5 more to go! Sorry i didn't write a blog post about Canberra or the Outback... even tho going out back to the bush was by far my ALL-TIME FAVOURITE experience so far :) and will probably stay my favourite out of everything.

this past week was... very long.. despite the fact i only had classes 3 days of the week instead of 5... Monday was Australian Labour Day, and b/c OZ only has like 3 public holidays, they make sure that ALL the schools and places get their day off. except I still had rehearsals Xp but it wasn't that bad.. and Tuesday, class in the morning was optional, so, duh, i opted out for some SLEEP instead! it was great :) Wednesday was actually a not so fun day.. or it wasn't in the morning.. so in the afternoon i got together with my friend Andrew (yes, another one) and we just talked and hung out for about 3 hours. it was great :) we got coffee (or I got coffee, since he doens't like it), ice cream, and lemon lime and bitters. ^_^ MMmmmmm.. yummy.

THURSDAY.. was an exciting adventure. it was the day of my MUSIC SHOWCASE! :D my first concert since HIGH SCHOOL... ya.. it's been a while, i know haha.. got to uni around 11:20, and sound checks were at 11:45. highlights were at 12:45, and the Showcase was at 7pm. we all THOUGHT we were just in the showcase, but no.. turns out we're in the Highlights as well! SO.. guess who had to scramble to get in her costume/performance outfit and doll up super fast before soundchecks... ya.. needless to say, i was quite frazzled.. but the feeling was.. idk.. it was like an old friend who i hadn't seen in YEARS. i'd missed the feeling of exhileration and the adrenaline of getting ready to put on a show... ^o^ both shows went VERY well. and i had SO much fun in it all.. i just wish there was more :( ah well.. we still have more songs to work on in the class.. and we may have another chance for performing, but no idea for sure.
IN CONCLUSION: i'm considering joining the LETU choir when i get back. it may not be the best (or even close to good sometimes), but i want to encourage fine arts at letu (plus i have that dream of starting a fine arts program at letu) so i think it would be good. Plus, it's probably the easiest/quickest way for me to be able to schedule in some time for singing throughout my week.

Friday was uneventful, as was Saturday.. sorry folks.. it may be Australia, but i don't lead that exciting of a life here Xp i'm discovering that i waste too much of my time online xp.. need to fix that.

TODAY, however.. (Sunday) was a HUGE pain in the rear... tomorrow (monday) my portfolio for photography is due. yesterday (Saturday) i walked down to Office works and placed an order for my 6 photos to be printed on 8x10 photo paper. get back today, around 1ish, and they say come back in 45 mins. cuz they have to do something to get the printer working. i come back at 3ish, and they say their printer isn't working for 8x10 Xp ARGH!!! find Wellsley, who drives me to Leichhardt marketplace where Hayley said there is a Rabbit Photo that does prints, and she loaned me her members card. we get there, and Rabbit Photo no longer exists there! ARGH AGAIN!!! then we drive down to the Office Works off of parramatta road down in Five Docks. THEIR printer won't work for 8x10 either! so back to Leichhardt we go. and it closed at 4pm XP it is not almost 5... *sigh..* then we go to Coles inside Norton Plaza, hoping that they might do printing somewhere.. Answer: NOPE...
however... Hayley is helping me out and taking me to Sydney University tomorrow morning (only 15-20 mins away) and we're going to get my photos printed there. so ya.. fingers crossed, cuz i REALLY need these photos! FOR TOMORROW! (and, incidentally, prepare a 5min presentation on the photos, have them backed to black cardboard, and have them on a disc for the prof. AND come in formal/business wear for our professional portraiture shots.. grrreeeeaaaaat....)

ya.. I've also been EXTREMELY homesick lately.. really missing my Penn2 boys.. but then again.. i also realized that i've been trying to live vicariously thru the pictures and videos they send me, but then I'm the one in Australia... so WHY am i wasting my time sitting in my room on my computer when i could out DOING something AMAZING in AUSTRALIA? it doesn't make sense!

ah well... i'm going to try and get better about that.. that doesn't negate the fact that i've been homesick.. if you have the cash and the time, PLEASE SEND ME MAIL!!! it's hard to find Reese's peanut butter cups here.. for a good price anyway XP so please send me some! or a card or a letter or something that lets me know you're thinking of me.. i've gotten this weird idea that if you miss me or have been thinking of me, unless you actually do something about it, you may as well not have.. *shrugs* no, it's not fair.. i know. but that's what things kinda boil down to sometimes...

oh, i guess i should let you guys know... i'm really struggling with... a LOT of things.. for one, my faith. is almost... non-existent? right now.. not really sure how to explain it.. but almost ALL of my foundations are being not only shaken but SHATTERED. and i'm finding it really hard to find ANY motivation to do ANYTHING. not singing, writing, drawing, or anything. which is really sad, when you stop and remember that those things are the REASONS that i came here. and i had three huge dreams that were propelling me onward. now i can hardly remember them, as they are just a dim and dull memory.. that should not be so. i'm also getting really depressed really easily.. i can't say anythign in detail on here, (so ask me if you really want to know), but there is a bit of a family crisis at home in America.. which makes being HERE so much harder.

it's funny, y'know.. cuz i was having panic attacks before coming to Australia.. cuz i was so scared about the classes and the workload and the fact that God was going to break me, and i wouldn't have any of my safety nets.. but God's been breaking me in completely different ways.. and it scares me. and i lose hope SO many times.. but somehow i've kept going. idk how.. sometimes i feel completely alone over here.. and so i try to cling on to my friends back at letu, but a lot of times people won't have time for me.. so sometimes i'm burning the candle at both ends.. cuz Wesley institute is such a small school (300 students!) that it's all in cliques.. and the ASC students are kinda.. lumped into one group. and i've always HATED being lumped in with a group. so i drift away, and try to find one or two people that i can relate to. i've found a few who i can actually call friend and not just Australian-whose-name-and-face-i-know-because-we-go-to-the-same-uni...

ya.. there's a LOT that i haven't said about all of that.. b/c it's been going on all semester, and i just realized it a few weeks ago. but never wrote a blog about it.. so ya.. here's everything in one huge mess that probably doesn't make any sense.. but my life kinda feels like that.. so it fits, right?

5 more weeks... i can do this, right? let's hope so.

on a separate note...

2010-08-04T05:54:00.002-05:00

I went exploring today! :D Mariah basically had to pull me away from campus tho Xp and I didn't have time to grab the Nikon from home either! but we ended up going exploring anyway. and it was FUN! :D

First we found Aubrey waiting across the road, and so we invited her to join us. Then we got a 504 bus to Circular Quay (pronounced "key"), took the ferry across to Milson's Point, and walked to Luna Park, which was closed, but they still had the gates open.. so we went in and poked around a bit, took pictures, and got outta there before security came haha.. then we walked down the boardwalk basically till we came to a VERY old train station that was no longer in service. And Aubrey saw some cool rocks, and decided to climb them. so Mariah and I naturally followed, taking pictures along the way.

but we didn't know how to get home... so I asked this Middle-Eastern man who was walking by when the train came by (this was before we learned that the train was out of service Xp) and he said to take the train from Milson Station. we thanked him, and he went on his way. About half an hour later, we decide to head back towards wherever it was we came from haha.. and the same Middle-Easter guy catches up with us! lol.. he asks if we know where we're going, and since we didn't know, he offered to take us there. So we had our own personal tour guide from the remote boardwalk we were at all the way to Milson's Station.

So ya, it wasn't all that exciting, but it was still great to just.. idk.. get OUT of the city, and yet still see it. we ALSO caught the sunset, so that was just BEAUTIFUL to watch. but my camera was low on battery, so i didn't get many pictures of that. or any... and plus, it was just too beautiful. I couldn't capture it with any camera.. so far ALL of Australia has been like that tho. which could be part of why I haven't as of yet posted any pictures XP (still meaning to do that!)

So all in all.. My day was made complete. :)

thanks for reading! See you Sunday evening, Central time ;)

Vocal Ensemble

2010-08-04T05:30:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it appears that I either have too much free time on my hands, or I'm slacking off and not doing the things that I probably should be doing. Nevertheless! I had an amazing day today :) which was actually surprising, since I left a little late, and forgot my water bottle at home, and left my iPod in the student centre throughout all of my class..

Good news tho, I made it to class on time! AND was able to buy a bottle of water in the Student Centre--where I ended up leaving my iPod--before running to class, and my iPod was STILL right where I had left it. SO! that was quite amazing ^_^ Iol...

Class today was, as you can guess from the title, Vocal Ensemble. It. Was. AMAZING! lol.. Although I don't know if I can have a bad class day on Wednesdays. I'm still.. idk.. in this weird yet excited state of mind, finally being in a singing group for myself, to make myself happy, and not to make anyone else proud or happy or to gain their approval. And... for the first time I feel as if I am singing among equals. I don't know what it really is, but I just have so much more confidence than I did in high school, and I think that that is part of what is making this class SO enjoyable for me.

One of the things that I think is really cool is that Clare, our teacher, wants to help us learn to and be comfortable with leading each other. The ensemble is much more of a peer-guided ensemble than a choir. if that makes any sense... So today we started off with rounds, (which I had forgotten/didn't take the time to learn before class), and she had the person on the end start it off.. which just happened to be me today Xp so.. lol.. ya! it was.. kinda funny starting off at first, but Clare gave me some pointers, and.. ya :) we all sounded so pretty! ^o^ and i'm getting really used to singing mezzo, instead of just alto. It's almost as if I'm not letting the category of "alto" bind me or bar me from singing the high parts. So... idk lol.. I see high notes on the page, and I'm not scared of them. I'm belting them out! And if they're wrong I'm fixing them lol.. and I think another thing is that I'm not afraid to laugh at myself anymore. And I was VERY self-conscious and had zero confidence in high school. So again.. the simple difference in choir/music group experiences is just... flooring me! totally cool :)

Public Transportaion...

2010-08-03T03:58:00.005-05:00

is a pain!!! especially when it is 3:18, you had a Production meeting from 3-4 at Wesley for the graduate play, and you are at home in Lewisham, which is at least half an hour from there... it's even WORSE when you can't find the FRICKING BUS STOP!!! that is because you usually take the train, and the only times you have taken a bus from Lewisham were on weekends when the trains weren't running, and there were "city rail buses" which took the same routes as the trains. or basically from station to station.

BUT THAT WASN'T THE NORMAL BUS STATION! that was from the TRAIN station. So... you spend 10 minutes looking for this elusive bus stop, which apparently is in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION, iow: back the way you came Xp and by this time, you have missed said bus which would take you the quickest way back to Drummoyne, so you call 131500 to get travel help. only they keep putting you through a loop.. and you can't get ANY information or help from the said-to-be-most-helpful travel guide...

so... you know that taking the train to Town Hall, and then the bus from Druitt Street to Victoria/Lyons and then a 15-20 min walk will not get you there before 4:00, so you decide to backtrack a different route which you've taken only just yesterday. Train to Burwood, then bus from Burwood to Lyons and Barney, which is JUST down the road from St. Mary's street, where Wesley resides..

well.. first, you don't know where the stupid bus stop is.. you know where you got off the day before, but not quite sure where to get on the same bus.. so.. you cross a few streets, walk up and down a couple times, see your bus leave, before you've even found the stop! and then you walk AROUND THE MALL, and ask an off-duty bus driver where to get on a bus to Drummoyne. Then you find the bus stop, and discover you have 15 more mins to wait before your bus gets there..

and it is now 4:00. the meeting is officially over, and you are screwed.

so that was my afternoon! it wasn't all that bad actually. I'm VERY lucky that Australians are so laid-back about things tho. Like I'm not in any major trouble for missing the first meeting. I mainly just felt really bad about it Xp but it's all good. no worries.. just get the minutes from the Student Director, figure out how to make it up. make sure you don't miss it next week. pencil it in to your schedule..

other than that fiasco this evening, my morning was pretty great! we meet at the St. James church off of MacQuarie Road, (there was a cafe outside the church! :D bonus points there..) we went inside and had fun discussions about Myths and Histories and cultural identities and personal identities.. (I actually hadn't done the homework.. or finished the reading Xp i know, i'm a terrible student. it was our first homework assignment too. but i guess i "partied" too much over the weekend and just kinda crashed Monday night instead of doing my reading and worksheet Xp that's what i get for going out of my comfort zone and hanging out in large groups of people whom i don't really know!)

that homework i hadn't done was also the reason i forgot my meeting today.. cuz i knew i had to finish up that, and then i also had music to review for tomorrow's class, so i was thinking about THAT homework i knew i had, and totally forgot about the meeting.. although i DID remember about dinner @ 5:00 with people at the Thai restaurant down the street from the school. I WAS ON TIME FOR THAT! and it was DElicious, i must say. i just came from there actually to the school, where i am now typing this up in the computer lab of the library, with a now-empty cappuccino..

anyways! so this morning after our discussion in the church, (St. James, which was in fact the very first Anglican church IN Australia..) we walked across MacQuarie to the Hype Parks Barracks Museum. where convicts were housed. and lots of other things went on too.. it was SO much fun going around there! and i got LOTS of pictures. they will be up in the (hopefully) near future. (no promises guys!) and the gift shop was fun too.. :) more on that later ;) i plan to go back actually before leaving Aussieland and get more pictures and see the rest of the stuff that i missed b/c i was taking pictures haha. and since admission is only AU$5 with a student id card, it's not a bad idea!

so ya.. that was my day so far.. and i think now i'm going to head back home, alone,-- because Mariah is going over to Lauren's for a taste-testing thing.. but I have homework to do, and I'm getting tired, despite the cappuccino, so i shall post this, and then tottle off home. :)

later, mates!

Sydney

2010-08-01T08:26:00.002-05:00

First off, I apologize for being so TERRIBLY late in posting this. I know I said that this blogwould be the best way to keep in touch with me, but of course that is only if I can remember to make time to actually WORK on the blog Xp so please forgive me for my laxity.

Now that apologies are out of the way... OMGILOVESYDNEY!!!!! it is SUCH a beautiful Sydney! my favorite part has GOT to be my commute from my student housing in Lewisham to Wesley in Drummoyne. I walk 5 mins to the train stop, take the train to Town Hall. Walk down the street to the bus stop and take any 500bus (EXCEPT 501) to Victoria and Lyons, and then walk about 20 mins to school. ^_^ yes, this is the longer of quite a few different routes I could take.. but I like this route because it's PRETTY. well.. at least I think it's pretty haha.. first off, we go over the ANZAC Bridge (aka: Lady Gaga's bra), and I love being able to look out into Darling Harbour and see the Harbour Bridge each time. (heart!) i feel like i'm actually living in Sydney and not just passing through.

I guess I should tell you some of my trip though.. Well.. it was probably the shortest trans-Pacific trip I've ever taken. And, to my GREAT delight, the 33 of us didn't have to go through security together.. We all checked in our bags separately, checked in with Khris, who was checking us off her list, and then could go through the security whenever we wanted to. Which made it very convenient, cuz then we didn't have to wait on everybody for everything. Definitely a good thing lol... it was great to finally meet the rest of the group and to finally put a proper face and audible voice to all of the names that i'd heard and tried to become familiar with over the past month, but I must admit that I was not at my best. I was tired, cranky, and all to much a snob about international travel xp but since getting to Sydney, I've been able to spend some time with people on a 1-on-1 basis, which is my preference. So that's been good.

Mariah Jensen and I are rooming together at the Flo Harris Lodge, and the place is GORGEOUS!! Morton House, which is adjacent to Flo, and where Mariah and I and about 10 other students from Austrlia are staying, is a Victorian Heritage House, so it's very old, very COLD sometimes, but oh so beautiful. :) I fell in love with it immediately! The other students staying in Morton and in Flo (Flobians, as we're called haha...) are a LOT of fun. I FOUND A DND GROUP!!! (just about ALL of the guys actually haha! SO awesome! haven't played with them yet tho..) the girls are very sweet, understanding, open, and great fun. the guys are hilarious! remind me SO much of my boys on Penn2 and my guy friends at letu haha.. sooo many similarities, I'm really feeling at home here. ^_^

so... we arrived on Wednesday around 9am (flight was delayed in NYC before it picked us up in LAX, so we ended up getting to Sydney around 2-3 hours later than planned). And Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we had ASC (Australia Studies Centre) Orientation.

just to clarify... when i say ASC, i am referring to the 33 group of students who came from America to study at the Wesley Institute. the two ASC classes are two classes on Australian history and culture, and on Aboriginal History, and those two are taught by Kimberly, who is in charge of us. She works for the CCCU (Community of Christian Colleges and Universities), which runs the BestSemester study abroad program, which is where i found this opportunity to go to Australia... i think that about covers the lingo.. so there are Wesley students, and there are ASC students, (ASCers being the 33 of us). and all of us ASCers except Mariah and I are in a homestay, living in with a family. Flo is not a dorm, it is a student housing. (think like one of the Faith Academy dorms if you're a Faith Alum/Staff/Student)

enjoy the rest of the blog! please ask me if you need any more clarification on anything.

on Thursday, we had a Scavenger Hunt throughout Circular Quay (pronounced KEY! don't ask me why...) and the Rocks, and Darling Harbour. it was a LOT of fun running around and getting acquainted with that part of the city. and we had some REALLY hilarious times too! OH!!! I PLAYED A DIDGERIDOO!!! it was really cool! and technically, girls are not allowed to play them.. it's reserved for Aboriginal males only, culturally anyway, but the guy was really nice and let us all give it a try :) out of the 7 of us in my group, i (according to Mariah) was the only one who actually made didgeridoo-like sounds come out haha.. so I felt very accomplished about that haha.. OH! i will have pictures of all of this posted up on FB, when i have time Xp and i will post a link to this entry or to another blog post or something so everyone can find the pictures ^_^ until then, PLEASE BE PATIENT! thank you

Sunday, Mariah and I went to Hillsong church! it was VERY cool. :) God is CLEARLY evident and present in that church and doing LOTS of good in and through the people there. His presence was literally overwhelming. :) and coming from me, that is saying a LOT. I was unsure at first if I would like Hillsong. and actually until coming to Australia, i DID NOT LIKE Hillsong, because it was so big, and my only impressions of Hillsong were of this big mega and impersonal church. but I was TOTALLY wrong. well.. it IS a very big church, but you just have to find where to get plugged in and connected like in any church in America. which can be hard a lot of times, especially when you're used to small house churches... but it's going well! after a week of school, Mariah and went to Sunday Night Live at Hillsong church tonight, and I talked to some people and maybe I'll be working on the SOUND TEAM for them.. (#excited!)

my first week of classes was very.. interesting.. and LONG.. in Australia, they have each class only once a week. sometimes three times, but very rarely. and each class is 2-3 hours. or more. so my schedule is as follows:

Monday: Photography II - 1:00pm-4:00pm

Production Practice - 6:00pm-9:00pm

Tuesday: The View from Australia (ASC class on Australian history, culture, and politics) - 8:15am-12:15pm

Production Practice - 6:00pm-9:00pm

Wednesday: Vocal (small) Ensemble - 10:45am-12:45pm (my SHORTEST class!)

and then there is "The Gathering," equivalent to Chapel at letu, but NOT required, no card readers, COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY, but they do notice when you're there or not. (It's kinda hard to miss 33 new students at a school where the student populations is about 300-500...) but anyways, the Gathering is VERY cool, and from 1:00-2:00

Thursday: Drawing IV (Life Art) - 1:00pm-4:00pm

Production Practice - 6:00pm-9:00pm

Friday: Indigenous History, Culture, etc etc etc.. (class on Aborigines) - ALL DAY. basically... split up into lectures in the morning and excursions in the afternoon. which are always fun ^_^

so ya.. that's my schedule.. Photo II was such a large class that it was split into two sections.. Wesley Students from 1-4, and ASCers from 4:30-7:30. but b/c of my 6-9 class, i'm with the Wesley students. who are cool/nice/interesting, but the 2nd year graphic design students are a little... anti-social? idk.. they kinda keep to themselves and i'm having a little trouble connecting with them, but it's alright. we had fun last week lol..

Production Practice is the most work.. uhm.. (except for the ASC classes). basically, I'm the Sound Designer haha.. I'll be making the sound track, getting the sound effects, setting up sound, setting up LIGHTS, RUNNING SOUND, and on the Production team.. which has weekly meetings or something.. and i only need to go to ONE rehearsal a week, but as we get closer to performance date, i'll probably be going to all of the rehearsals.. so ya.. oh, the performance is in like week 12 or 13 i think? and it's the graduate show, so only three Wesley students, and three graduates (i think) who came back to help with the performance. and the play is "The Bald Prima Dona." VERY much Theatre of the Absurd, so i've been reading up on that so i know what kind of effects and music to get..

Vocal Ensemble is BY FAR one of my favorite classes so far ^_^ my FIRST choir class in 2 1/2 YEARS!!! and i'm LOVING it! I was a little shaky at first, trying to remember how to breathe, and then how to sing.. and then when i figured that out, i just had fun! :D there's 16 in the class, (i think), and they're all lots of fun :) (i hope/think.. haven't met them all yet, but it should be good!) we're doing various music pieces, and b/c there's only 16 of us, we will ALL have solo parts during the semester. speaking of which... I SANG A SOLO IN CLASS!!!! that is BIG for me. cuz i physically COULD NOT do that in high school. i had ZERO confidence in my own singing ability, and I was EXTREMELY self-conscious of myself in front of the other choir members (whom i knew and they were my good friends...) so.. lol.. ya.. it was funny cuz, first i got put with the METZOS!!! b/c i raised my hand and said i was a metzo/alto.. and she put me with the metzos.. so YA! that's gonna be interesting haha.. since i've sung Alto for about my whole life... haha... but anyway, back to the solo story haha.. one of the songs we're doing is skid town (or downtown) from Little Shop of Horrors, and my prof Clare had the second verse be a solo, and said metzos could try for the second (sops had first verse). she wanted someone with a bronks accent tho, and i volunteered cuz I was american and could maybe try for it. so she started playing, and i started singing.. and.. ya.. i sang a solo. ^_^ made me very happy, cuz there's a bit of a high note/jump that I had to get, and wasn't sure I could reach on my own, but apparently I can! :D so ya.. ^_^ VERY happy about that.

and another thing.. for the first time in my life, i'm in a choir for MYSELF. to make MYSELF happy, not to make anyone else happy or to gain anyone else's approval. this semester is for ME, and i'm going to ENJOY myself! ^o^

Life Drawing is... FUN! so far haha.. we just drew each other on the first day, and we'll do the same this week too.. but next week our nude model is coming in. so THAT'S going to be interesting.. cuz when i signed up for the class i did NOT know it was going to be drawing a nude model, but i'm ok with that. it'll be interesting. i feel a little bad for David tho haha.. the ONLY guy taking the class.. the rest of us are all ASC students, and girls.. and our model is a female as well.. so ya.. but i'm glad i'm taking the class. b/c it's going to help me get to where I want to go in life. and i'll save that for another blog post for another time...

and that's about all i can think of for right now.. i know it's a lot, but believe me, it's not even HALF of what i've done! haha.. oh ya, this past Friday night was a Flobian's 21st birthday party, and it was on the roof of a bar! which was VERY cool. and then Saturday night was another Flobian's 18th birthday party in NEWCASTLE. so Mariah and I went to that and ended up staying the night there at his house. GORGEOUS place, right on the water. and ANDREW!! I BROUGHT YOUR CAMERA AND GOT LOTS OF PICTURES! i just need to go thru them all now haha.. (i used Wall-e's lens tho) Mariah and i got back this afternoon around 2 i think... it was a GREAT trip. i made friends with some of Mitch's (the birthday boy) childhood/family friends, and I have an open invitation to return actually! lol.. :) good times.. good times.. looking forward to warmer days when i can go swimming! ^o^

ok, now that's REALLY everything haha... uhm, since my first class on Monday isn't until 1pm, i'm going to TRY to be online and available for chatting/skype/msn/etc on Monday mornings Sydney time, which would be Sunday night in America. I'm 2 hours ahead of the PI, and 15 hours ahead of Texas time.. so you do the math Xp i have enough of a headache of it already!

oh.. and please pray for me, cuz i hit my knee on the bus Friday on the way home from school. :( I was moving to sit down in the seat just up from the stairs, and the bus started moving again right as i was going to sit down, and so i was literally thrown into the seat. the corner of the chair hit my knee just above the kneecap, and i was almost in tears.. :'( it hurt SO bad! there's now a VERY pretty purple bruise.. not very big, but VERY tender.. i can hardly touch my knee actually. oh, my knee is also swollen to about twice it's normal size >.<>winter here Xp really wishing i had brought my boots, or another jacket/hoody/jumper, but oh well.. won't be much longer before it's warm weather again. and i'm borrowing Mitch's for now.

so i think that's all for now folks! i'm probably forgetting a lot of things, of just not bothering with them, b/c this post is already insanely long (sorry about that mates) and if i tried to squeeze everything in, they just wouldn't receive the justice due to them.. c'est la vie...

Love you guys! don't forget SUNDAY NIGHTS! TALK WITH MELODY!

almost there!

2010-07-20T01:14:00.002-05:00

ok.. so we're all in the LAX airport, checked in, gone thru security.. and waiting for our plane which was delayed.. we're supposed to start boarding in an hour, and then leave at 1am.. so... let's keep our fingers crossed and hope it all works out! :D

this is a great bunch of people. :) i'm really glad i'm here.. i've just past the point of being excited LONG ago.. and i passed the point of panicking a week ago or so as well.. so now i'm just kinda.. comeon.. let's go already haha.. i've been working towards this for 7 months now.. about anyways.. and this is like the first step to following my dreams.. "you can have both roots and wings..." and i'm going to chase after my dreams, and soar on the wings that God has given me.. i'm glad my wings aren't stuck to me with wax tho, cuz otherwise i might end up like Icharus ;)

oh, and i didn't get my phone unblocked like i had planned (darn it!) so... we'll see what happens with the phone... Xp i don't know when i'll get online again, so shoot me an email (see previous post for address)

so long mates!

slight change in plans..

2010-07-19T10:31:00.002-05:00

so.. as soon as i posted my last blog entry, i got a call from SkyMiles, saying my flight had been cancelled.. BUT they already booked me for another flight, getting me to LAX only half an hour later than before.. so HERE is my final flight plan for getting to LAX:

19 July

12:37pm - DFW to SLC arriving at 2:21pm

3:06pm - SLC to LAX arriving at 4:00pm

while i'm in Sydney, i'll be staying at the Flo Harris Lodge, and it's "a student housing facility that hosts around fifty college students from tertiary institutions across Sydney. Flo Harris offers billiard and ping-pong tables, a music practice room, a patio with outdoor seating, and a spacious yard. Lewisham is close to the city and to Leichhardt, a charming suburb that serves as the Italian district of Sydney. Lewisham is roughly a 45 minute bus ride from Wesley Institute."

I'll actually be staying in the Morton House which adjoins to the FHL, and the Morton House is built in the Victorian style, Mariah (my roommate and I) will have a large room on the 2nd(i'm guessing) floor, and we have a balcony ^_^ we will also have INTERNET, (unlike the other 31 ASC students... but i won't be on that much. and i have to pay for the internet myself.. so.. don't expect me to be online all that much

you CAN expect to see updates on both twitter (http://twitter.com/Sis2Penn) which will automatically update on FB as well.. so check out my profile page, tweet me, w/e..

Also, the best email to reach me at would be my letu email address: MelMiller@letu.edu.

FHL Address:

11 The Boulevarde

Lewisham NSW 2049

Mailing Addresses:

For Regular mail...

Melody Miller ASC – Wesley Institute

P.O. Box 534

Drummoyne, NSW 1470

AUSTRALIA

For Packages...
Melody Miller ASC – Wesley Institute
5 Mary Street
Drummoyne, NSW 2047
AUSTRALIA

I love you guys! wish me luck XD

Finally...

2010-07-19T06:23:00.003-05:00

today is finally the day... after almost 7 months of thinking and planning and getting ready to go to Australia, i'm finally going today. well.. technically this evening, and since the flight is scheduled to leave at 11:50pm, we might as well say in the first hours of tomorrow Xp but who cares really...

i suppose some of you will be curious as to what my schedule is, so i'm going to tell you.

19 July

9:35pm - DFW to ATL arriving at 12:44pm

1:50pm - ATL to LAX arriving at 3:25pm

after arriving in LAX, i will get my bags from luggage claim, and hang out until 8:45, when i will go to the food court and meet the rest of the group.. or as they gather.. some of them, i'm meeting up with while we're stuck at the airport Xp others are getting together and LEAVING said airport and then coming back at 8:45 (the lucky stiffs...) then at some point we will all proceed together to check-in and security and etc etc etc.. all that fun jazz that i have done my ENTIRE life.. only now with a package group, mostly of people who've never traveled internationally before.. won't this be fun... (meh, i'll make the most of it :) i've got a deck of cards and music ;))

19 July

11:50pm - LAX to Sydney arrvinging around 7:25am (Wednesday, 21 July)

i do not have ANY more details of this flight.. so just pray pray pray pray pray!!

well, it is now almost 6:30, and time for me head to the airport! :D my brother Steven is driving me, and we're MAKING SURE that i'm there ON-TIME so i don't miss my flight like on Spring break Xp

Wish you all the best!! and wish me luck haha..

Praise God!

2010-07-17T16:39:00.003-05:00

Good news!! My check came in the mail today! :D I has monies!!! XDXDXDXDXD

AND my lens came in too!!! ^o^ happy day!!!!

oh, and I actually had a LOT of fun shopping!!! which RARELY happens Xp i spent a lot of money, but i don't go shopping very often.. so stuff either doesn't get worn or gets overworn, and i need new clothes.. needless to say..l. i about increased my wardrobe but a third... and not even half of what i bought is going with me to Australia..

oh well!! :D i had lots of fun today, and got a lot done. :) and that's all that matters ^_^

HELP!!!!

2010-07-16T15:40:00.002-05:00

in SERIOUS need of prayer guys!

My check was supposed to come in Thursday, but it didn't. and it hasn't come in today either! :( i'm getting really worried, guys. please please please please pray for the mail to cooperate, since i'm also waiting on at least two more packages before Monday, and i leave dfw airport for lax at 9:35am. so i REALLY need those packages and my check to get here!

My grandma said she could lend me $400 for shopping on Saturday for the stuff i need to get (ie, professional ensemble for Parliament and Embassy days, hiking boots, and a few nefarious other things). But i won't be able to pay anyone back before i leave if that check doesn't come in. :(

help me Jesus...

4 days to go...

2010-07-15T00:27:00.004-05:00

Hey! it's been a while, eh? sorry about that... so. uhm... ya.. this is going to be a problem-solution entry.. and i'll probably be leaving stuff out.. ya... here goes! and in no sensible order.. basically whatever i think of first gets put down...

Problem: Visa was VERY slow in getting processed and emailed to me.

Solution: after a VERY long time waiting, I received my Visa on 30 June(ish)...

Problem: Need new battery for laptop

Solution: bought one, but sent to wrong address. (d'oh! *facepalm*)

Solution2: email the people ASAP. should get the battery tomorrow or Friday (PLEASE GOD!)

Problem: running out of MaryKay face cleaner, low on cash, and mail timing.

Solution: called Claire's "replacement" consultant. got on a new system of face cleansers, mailed monday, arrived today, i STILL got the 20% discount, and she's charging me on Friday

Problem: $16 in my bank account...

Solution: MKSAPS come in tomorrow :) i go to the bank, deposit my check, open a savings account with said check, and alert to international use in Oz

Problem: need new phone

Solution: got upgrade. i now have a red Pantech Reveal. still getting used to the QWERTY keyboard.. grr....

Problem: lots of medical bills..

Solution: IMB might pay for all those medical checks i got because i had to get them for SCHOOL (PLEASE GOD!)

Problem: no friends and very little family on my birthday #sadpandaface

Solution: my brother Steven spent the ENTIRE day with me, and made sure i felt EXTRA special and loved, and it was a WONDERFUL day! ^o^ i love my brother!

Problem: lost nose ring down drain >.< #sadface

Solution: bough three new ones with birthday money ^_^ (had a piece of broomstraw in the hole in the meantime...)

Problem: last time i had my eyes checked was last summer.. and they had gotten worse then

Solution: got my eyes checked Tuesday. didn't get worse, but didn't get better either. Still, no change is good :) means i only had to pay for ONE pair of new lenses for my glasses, and then order contacts >.< #expensive!

Problem: my grandma has been paying for everything...

Solution: pay her back eventually...

Problem: owe LOTS of people money...

Solution: pay them back eventually.. (and somehow have some left to live on in Oz? maybe, maybe not... Proposed Solution: get a job!)

Problem: i need hiking boots, and a professional outfit.. and some other things that are not going on a blog :p

Solution: shopping with Miss Cindy on Saturday!

Problem: need another lens for the camera that Andrew Stewart is lending me...

Solution: Walle has one! and he's sending it down! and i'm praying it gets here before Sunday!!!

Problem: not sleeping well

Solution: still working on it

Problem: having panic attacks

Solution: Matthew 11:28. "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Compliments of Jimmy Stewart).

Problem: was EXTREMELY stressed out before about visa

Solution: encouragement from Andrew "Just remember God loves you, you're a beautiful young woman who won't be visa-less or single much longer God willing as long as you're patient."

Problem: still needed to unpack my room from COLLEGE

Solution: i unpacked. .... mostly.. still got a few things to straighten out.. like what's cluttering the top of my desk..

Problem: needed to order two more books for a couple classes i'll be taking in Oz..

Solution: ordered one via amazon, have the other waiting for me in Oz already, and i pay AU$7 when i get there.

Problem: still waiting on the first book, which i ordered 8 July

Solution: PRAYER!!!!

Problem: missing friends :( getting cabin fever.

Solution: go swing dancing with Steven, Nanda, and Christina! it was lots of fun :) also, i think i'm meeting up with Andrew Beirnes and friends tomorrow after dental appt.

Problem: my next scheduled dental appt was for sept... i'll be missing that by two months when i get back

Solution: called monday and made an appt for tomorrow at noon.

uhm.... i think that's most of it, if not all of it... oh! one more..

Problem: DIDN'T HAVE COFFEE TODAY!!!! :(

Solution: go to bed within the hour, wake up at 9, shower, drink LOTS of STRONG coffee, and read my Bible ^_^ sounds like a plan to me!

G'night mates!

figured i may as well and try to start with the Aussie accent haha.. oh ya! in case you didn't already know, i have a twitter now (http://twitter.com/Sis2Penn) and it will upload directly to facebook. and i will have my phone with my in Oz, and it will be working but with a different number on an Aussie sim.

Happiness is fuzzy and purple...

2010-06-05T23:52:00.003-05:00

I made a new friend today... ^o^

Breaking News!

2010-06-03T15:34:00.002-05:00

I have paid for my visa! =D YES!! happy, good, amazing news! cause for rejoicing!

now for the bad news... I wasn't supposed to get my medical examination or my x-rays done until AFTER paying -_- There are specific doctors that I have the choice of seeing to get all this done, and two forms that I have to bring with me as well...

So! all that money I borrowed from my uncle (and the tears that followed) just went down the drain... *sigh..* ah well.. **** happens, and life goes on...

I found out which doctors I can go see, looked up their names in my insurance and called both of them, but insurance won't cover either. so phooey! this is all going to be out of my pocket >.<>have money. but that's all the money that I have, and it has to last me until July 15 (four days before I'm supposed to leave). However, if I don't get my visa I won't be going anyway.. so... guess who's going to be broke again?

At one doctor's the cost is $300 for everything (with a very friendly receptionist on the phone too ^^, I liked her). The other doctor is $250, (but not as friendly a receptionist as the first one). I'm going to have to go with the cheaper one though. "Beggars can't be choosers."

I'll let you guys know how things turn out... But as a good friend reminded me this morning.. Well, ok two good friends lol... "I need to CHILL! God will work it all out and everything will be fine. if i end up going or not... and the good thing is that there are advantages to going and to not going..." and from the other friend "This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life... Look at the birds of the sky: they don't sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you worth more than they? ... Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don't labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If that's how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won't he do much more for you--you of little faith? So don't worry... For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of god and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

You know.. I used to HATE that passage growing up.. because it was one of the longest passages I had to memorize for Bible, and it was sooo annoying because it was soo long! I've never forgotten it because I hated it so much actually lol.. but I needed to be reminded of it today. Thanks April! ^_^

more tears and frustration

2010-06-03T02:01:00.004-05:00

So... I just posted about all the chores and documents that I needed to do.. And all of that in itself would give ANYONE a headache.. but there's more that lies underneath...

Presently, with all the **** I've been wading through, and the tasks to get completed, and all the struggles and frustrations I'm having... I'm trying to remember why I wanted to go to Australia in the first place. And why in the world am I putting myself through all of this. I'm trying to convince myself that it will all be worth it in the end. i'm trying SO hard.. and i just end up crying. I think i cried myself to sleep last night actually.. I spent the afternoon cleaning the kitchen, and crying, cuz i was so stressed out about everything.

And not only was I stressed, have been stressed, but I've been alone for most of it. My brother started his summer classes on Tuesday. My uncle works all day and comes home in the evenings. we're never sure when he's coming in actually.. And my grandmother's been in the hospital. Steven and I don't know anyone in Arlington. we don't have any close friends here.. and, don't get me wrong, i LOVE my alone-time, but a month of it is just too much.

Now some of you, well probably most of you, knowing my friends, would suggest that I get involved with my church. I've tried that. I've tried to do that EVERY TIME I'M IN THIS COUNTRY. At least I tried until this year. this year was it. I didn't want to bother with it anymore. See... in 8th grade I used to be really involved in my church, especially in the youth. I did everything i possibly could! it was the FIRST time for me to actually feel AT HOME and really WELCOMED in a church. and the first time for me to be in a church youth group actually. I loved it. But I was only there for 6-7 months, and then i went back to the Philippines until my eldest brother got married a year and a half later in 2005. didn't have much time to do anything with the youth, but i went over there.. next time was in 2006. we were here for the ENTIRE SUMMER. and i tried. i tried so hard to get back into the youth group.

but... idk.. it was like they didn't care if i was there or not. it didn't matter that i had been gone, because they couldn't remember that i had been there before. i felt like i didn't exist. and I'd never been to a public school in the states, i don't keep up with popular music :p so i had NO idea what ANY of them were talking about AT ALL. (of course, we must all keep in mind that this summer was just after i was suicidal for about 3-4 months... That's a story for another time, that probably won't be told on here...) I guess after that.. i didn't bother trying anymore.. When i started college, I tried joining the college group. but it was all the same people as before. they didn't care. and they still don't care. they don't meet to study God's word at all. they meet almost purely for social matters. why do they even bother with the pretense of studying? it frustrates me to no end, so I don't go to the college group anymore.

and I guess that whole back story is where my main fear stems from.. I'm terrified that I'll leave for Australia in July, and come back to school in January, or even when I'm back for Thanksgiving, and find that my place among my friends has been taken. that i've been replaced. or that we will all have changed so much that we cannot relate to one another anymore. I'm afraid that i will become a stranger to my friends. I'm already feeling left behind. i couldn't find a job this summer, not that i really tried, since i'm supposed to be leaving in mid-July (if my visa comes through). There wasn't really a point. and most of my friends have jobs this summer, so they're working, while i sit on my bum, staring at my laptop screen cuz i have nothing to do and no friends to hang out with or talk to.i feel useless, lonely, and abandoned. only I'M the one who's not doing anything. I'M the one who's going to another country for 4 months (God willing). so why do I feel like i'm being left behind? it doesn't make sense, even to me. but it's how i feel.

I'm scared. I'm really scared. I'm scared that i can't keep up with the other students in Australia. Art class, photography, choir, tech/stage crew work... stuff i haven't done since high school! and there's no way i'll be able to skype with all my friends or be on facebook all the time. I'm sorry to those of you who command me to skype them and keep up, but the chances of that are EXTREMELY slim. and besides, you all have your own lives to live, right? how are the crazy antics of a friend on the other side of the world going to affect your lives?

Call it my inferiority complex or something.. but i'm EXTREMELY lonely, feeling VERY forgotten, lacking encouragement and self-confidence, and trying to get everything done so i can go to Australia. All the while wondering to myself WHY I'm putting myself through hell to try to get there. and hoping and wishing that it'll all be worth it in the end, and that my friends will still be my friends when i return. No matter how much we've changed.

aaaaand i'm crying again.. i think i'll try going to bed now.. sorry for the two depressing blog posts.. but it's been that kind of... summer..

on a happier note, my brother John gets married next weekend! :D and we're going to South Carolina Jun 9th! :D and i found someone to alter my bridesmaid's top for me! :D yay for little miracles ^_^

tears and frustrations...

2010-06-03T00:49:00.006-05:00

I realize I'm overdue for writing something.. and I'm trying to think of something that I can write without making everyone depressed or without crying, again... It's been a very hard 12ish days... Obviously, you should be able to tell from the title T_T

Well, it's June 2nd, or it was an hour or so ago.. and I've got a list of things I'm supposed to have filled out and sent in to the ASC office in Washington DC. There's my Medical/Emergency Form, my ISIC and the money for that, register for classes, my Domestic Travel Form, and last, but not least, my State Department Registration. aka: MY VISA. the source of all my tears that I've shed in the past 4 days. the worry that has kept me awake for many nights, reading manga to block out the world, and staying up until much later than I needed. the diabolical, nagging, and yet oh so vitally important task that I MUST have as soon as humanly possible... more on that later

Starting from the top, I have th Med/Em form filled out, faxed AND mailed in to Washington, with copies of my insurance card. The most annoying part? MY GRANDMOTHER'S COMPUTER DOES NOT HAVE MICROSOFT WORD INSTALLED. and I couldn't find the box with the product key >.<>

Next on the list was my International Student Identity Card (ISIC) and the money for that. I actually took care of that AGES ago, with the help of Andrew Stewart :p he took pictures of me in a tree, and I sent one of those in with money to buy the stupid card. So guess who gets to have an ID picture of herself in a tree! -.^ (I completely tore my arm apart climbing that tree too >.<>

Registration opened up the week after graduation while I was still on campus, so THAT was fun to figure out which classes I was taking and WHEN I would take them.. I'm still REALLY confused how that's all going to work out.. I don't think I'm getting any breaks... oh... -_- and I made a teensy-weensy mistake when I was talking with Letu staff and getting "registered" for classes here.. I had originally gotten permission to take TWENTY hours.. (some of you may remember me talking about that). ASC contacted us and said they didn't allow their *regular* students to take more than 18, and most struggled with 17... So.. with 16 being my minimum, and 17 as the max, I signed up for 17 credit hours... I thought..

WHOOPS!

Turns out one of my classes was worth FOUR credit hours.. not three.. so I'll be taking 18 credit hours.. and it's going to feel like at least 22 hours at Letu.. and ALL of it Fine Arts oriented.. well.. except for two classes.. 1/3 of the 18 credit hours are counting towards my degree audit.. the only classes that aren't Fine Arts oriented... Intro to Poly Sci and Cultural Anthropology. They actually have different names at ASC, but that's what they're counting them for at Letu. and besides, I can't remember the real class names -_- (when I get my official schedule, I'll be sure to post it on here so you guys can see what kind of hell I'll be going through)

Next was my TRAVEL FORM... Basically, they needed to know how I'll be getting to LAX where I'll be meeting the group going to Australia, and how I'll be getting back home from LAX. We bought those tickets on Monday or Tuesday I believe.. talk about cutting it close! I didn't have the money for those tickets.. we ended up using all but 3,000 of my SkyMiles, and we had to buy more miles as well... I think I owe my parents around $2-300 for that.. (in case you didn't know, money is going to crop up again and again in this blog, because it has ALSO been a source of many shed tears and sleepless nights and much frustration). But I have my tickets! On July 19, I fly out of DFW around 9:30am, fly to ATLANTA, arrive there around 12:44pm, THEN fly to LAX at 2ish, arriving around 3:30. the group doesn't leave for Australia until 11:55pm... I'm going to have SO much fun sitting in an airport for 8-9 hours doing NOTHING. >.<>

Lastly, we come to the bane of.. my efforts to go to Australia..

Before I complain anymore about how frustrating it's been, I have to admit my own faults here.. I received my EcoE (Electronic confirmation of Enrollment) code on May 19th I believe.. and i SHOULD have started applying for my visa then, but I didn't. I didn't get to work on ANY of the stuff due for June 2nd until Friday afternoon. See, there's this little matter of money that's needed to pay for a plane ticket and a visa... I already told you about the plane ticket. A student visa to Australia costs $540.. I JUST NOW got that money today, (June 2nd) but via check deposit, so I can't touch it until tomorrow afternoon!

but I'm getting ahead of myself...

I started applying for my visa, and all of a sudden two messages in bright blue appear at the top of my screen, saying "Melody Miller needs to undergo a medical examination," and "Melody Miller needs to undergo a chest x-ray." .... then I got to the page where I was supposed to pay, and I didn't have the money :p then I spent about an hour or two trying to figure out where I'm supposed to send in the results of the physical and the xray.. couldn't find anything. so I email the ASC people and ask them if they have any idea where I'm supposed to send the results. They of course get all anxious and concerned about the fact that I don't have my visa yet. I KNOW that it's very important to have my visa in time. I grew up on the mission field, traveling between countries. and if they had read my application (which I'm pretty sure they were supposed to, they would have known that I'm an MK and am use to international travel.. huh.. go figure) so... needless to say, I was very angry at them for practically insulting me >.<>

@%$*#%@*$%@#$%@!!!!!!!

*sigh...* i'm fine...

so... I got my physical done on Sunday actually, because they were open until 5. that pretty much wiped out my bank account.. mostly. I asked them how much an x-ray would cost. $110. ok.. uhm.. hey Grandma? lol.. actually, my Uncle loaned me money for that, since my grandmother has been in the hospital recovering from knee replacement surgery that she had on May 20th (i think...). So I went back to CareNow for the x-ray.. and had to explain about five times WHY i was getting an xray, to four people... finally got the x-ray done, saw the doctor afterwards, i'm fine, i'm healthy, nothing is broken, and i don't have TB :p (i already knew that though) so i go to pay and check out. =) seeing the doctor cost an extra $98... i only had the $110 with me (that's actually ALL i had), and my brother was close to broke as well.. So we called my Uncle Randy, and begged him for more money. -_- So we drive back home, get another $100 from my uncle, then go back to the clinic and finish paying.

Oh, and I'm basically in tears during this whole not-having-money-going-home-borrowing-from-uncle-again deal... i HATE borrowing money. absolutely hate being in debt to someone. and yet, i frequently find myself doing just that. That wasn't what made me cry though. what made me cry was the fact that my uncle is SO much like my dad sometimes, except he's a bachelor. my uncle's never had any kids, so he doesn't have that tender streak like my dad does. Now, my dad can be VERY tender and gentle. My dad is the one i got all of my touchy-feely stuff from, not my mom. And when i upset my dad, yes, he gets angry at me, and gets on to me. But then, and i LOVE my dad for this, he ALWAYS makes sure to come back immediately and lets me know that he still loves me and that he forgives me and that everything is all right. Now.. i KNOW that I upset my uncle.. and i know he forgives me, (at least i hope so...) but it's really hard to have to face someone who is SO much like my dad, and NOT receive that gentle love that i'm so used to receiving from my dad..

I think I stayed in my room and cried most of the rest of that day.. or turned my brain off and read shoujo manga..

Anyways.. the xray results should be in tomorrow. My brother is going to pick those up tomorrow morning before he goes to classes at 1. And then by 3 or 4 i think I'll be able to pay for my visa, and I'll figure out where I'm supposed to send in the results for my physical and my xray... and pray that everything goes smoothly and i get my visa.

an over-due update on my life :p

2010-05-22T22:09:00.008-05:00

So... ya.. it's been over a month since I last posted anything. Sorry about that :p so going from where I last left off...

turns out I got the email after chapel. They accepted my application, but I'd been wait-listed... I was very confused. No one had mentioned anything about being put on a waiting list! EVER! not once! I was expecting a pass or fail answer, and instead I received a maybe :p my waiting was not over. Needless to say, I had a meltdown. :p and I STILL had two papers to write by Thursday.

somehow, by the grace of God, I got it all done. Just barely lol... the first paper was for my Principles of Management class, which explained "My Philosophy of Management..." I made up a new one teehee.. ^_^ "demolegranny," a combination of democracy, delegation, and tyranny. my Prof LOVED lol... he said it was "the most well synthesized paper" he had received so far, and i turned it in 15 mins before class! it was the most annoying, most sarcastic paper I have EVER written.

it also marked the FIRST time in my life that a PAPER made me miss math classes...

the second was my... gosh darn it I can't remember which paper it was... *checks her papers from April 22nd...*

aHA! it was my Fine Arts paper lol.. the huge monstrosity that I stayed up ALL NIGHT in MSC1 on Wednesday writing :p that was NOT a fun night. I did manage to get about 45 mins of sleep on one of those couches tho...

ANYWAYS, moving on...

I finished the paper, went back to my dorm and showered and got ready for the day because Jimmy and I were going to Kilgore for him to get his flight physical and I needed to register for the dreaded Spanish CLEP test, (which I finally DID manage to take (again, on VERY little sleep), and managed to pass the first two semesters that I needed credit for. I was actually only EIGHT points away from passing all four semester >.<). So before running to print off my paper and turn it in to my professor, I needed to EMAIL my professors and tell them I wouldn't be in class :p I was also talking with my mom on Skype at the time, and trying to get as much done as humanly possible in the short amount of time that I had, and...

lo and behold! I had another email from ASC...

"Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as a student in the Council for Christian Colleges & Universities' Australia Studies Centre (ASC) at for Fall 2010..."

I read it and moved on to the next email. Then froze... read it again, and SCREAMED!!!! talked with my mom a bit more, read the list of stuff I had to do, then ran to print my paper, turn it in, and talked with my profs really quick before grabbing coffee and running to meet Jimmy for our adventure in Kilgore! (i took a nap while he drove, got lost twice, and had his physical).

so... YES! I am now OFFICIALLY going to Australia! I had a few more forms to fill out by May 3rd to confirm my participation, (including money!), which I was able to have filled out and mailed and all that fun, annoying stuff. and again, just in the nic of time!

Then school ended...

and Penn2 guys threw a surprise going-away party for me! complete with ice cream, FLOWERS and a phonebook (in prime condition, I might add!) signed by all of them. :) they. are. AMAZING. lol.. i love those guys ^_^

I attended Brian and April's wedding on Sunday morning, May 9th, after staying up most of the night packing my clothes for moving the next day between weddings :p Crazily packed the rest of my stuff and cleared the room of my stuff, Summer and I rearranged the furniture and cleaned. Then I got checked into my new room in Davis, and began moving stuff over, with the help of multiple random friends (Josh, Jimmy, Rusty, Amber, and Kristy). All the moving was done by 6:05, and I got ready in 20 minutes for Tim and Kristy's wedding. It was beautiful ^_^ Got back to campus, (skillfully missing the bouquet toss ;) yes!) and finished cleaning and moving some last minute things. Summer and I both checked out of our room together at 9:15ish. (someone else was late, not us! :p)

the next week was one of utter boredom, very little cash, many late night movies, two theater movies, a Taco Bell run, and many motorcycle rides...

On Saturday the 15th, I saw two more of my very dear friends, Matt and Tiana, tie the knot at their wedding :) it was lovely :) i sat with the Penn1 Pirates, and failed to skip the bouquet toss this time, since my sister-in-law Rebekah caught me and made to join in!

No, I did not catch the bouquet. Yes, I did try. a little.. not really... Matt's sister Michelle caught the bouquet. :) I thought it was very appropriate, seeing as how I caught the bouquet when I was 15 at my eldest brother's wedding.

After the wedding, I had grilled hamburgers with Basil and Evan, (they cooked, AND cleaned. i just sat there, looked pretty, and ate lol..) then we went to watch the cartoon Robin Hood! and Evan showed up with a BIRTHDAY cake for me! SEVEN WEEKS EARLY! i was shocked :) and very happy ^_^

the next day, was packing, cleaning, and moving day, YET AGAIN! and again I stayed up late reading a book till 4 :p (so sue me! I like to read T_T) Sarah and I managed to get everything out of the room AND the hallway and have the room cleaned, with un-lofted beds, and everything spic-and-span, just they way we found it. Unfortunately.. not all of my stuff fit into my uncle's truck :( so we stowed it away at my brother Sam's house.

Now I have been "home" at my grandma's for a week... Jobless, bored out of my mine, and with no friends. My companions and solace have been found in netflix, my brother Steven, my cellphone, and Facebook (to a small extent). My grandma went in for surgery on Thursday to have her knee replaced, so it has mostly been just me and Steven at the house until Uncle Randy gets off work in the evenings. We haven't burnt the place down either! We visited Grandma yesterday, and she's doing fine, but has little or no appetite, and had low blood pressure and a low blood count. So they have her on a blood transfusion and they haven't gotten her up and walking yet. :( so other than those things! she's fine. we're going to see her again tomorrow, and probably bring flowers or a card this time. We would have gone today, except...

Steven and I were supposed to go back to Longview today to get the rest of my stuff (he bought a truck on Monday! :D), but translation was lost somewhere, and Sam and Bekah didn't know we were coming back this weekend, and so they were at a wedding in Waco and didn't tell us :p SO!! tomorrow is Sunday, and all of my make-up is still in Longview.. needless to say, I will not be attending Sunday school :p

Are you still there? Really? good for you! sorry I didn't warn you how long this would be this time around... I'll have more to say about Australia tomorrow. Thanks for reading guys :)

today is the day!

2010-04-19T09:36:00.001-05:00

Good morning everyone! I’m writing this in like the 15 mins I have before class starts :p so this may be very short haha…
So… today is the day I’m supposed to get the email from ASC… I’m so nervous about it that I literally have stress knots in my back! It’s NOT fun. But having blueberry coffeecake from a couple guys on penn2 sure does make waking up easier lol.. sleep didn’t really happen last night. It was more like night terrors of waiting ALL DAY for the email to come in. and then when it finally did, no one was happy for me. it was more like people were angry and resentful :( so ya.. I’m very anxious and nervous today.
But… it’s not so much worrying about the outcome as it is WAITING for the outcome.. I’ve got everything on the line for this.. and I’m trusting that no matter what happens today, it will be in God’s plan. And I trust my Daddy. So today is a sort of milestone for me. My life can go in so many different directions after today. And I’m excited and anxious to see where God takes me!
God is God no matter what the outcome of today is. Whether it ends in loud wailing, or hysterical laughing and squealing, God is STILL God. He is God over my hopes and dreams, in my darkest hours, and in my brightest moments. God is God, and He is in control of my life.

Australia Studies Centre

2010-04-18T02:24:00.003-05:00

For you newcomers: Hi. Welcome to my blog. This blog has undergone a few changes over the past two years that I’ve had it. :p But I’m liking my new layout and look, so I think I’ll keep it this way for a while. I used to just write my stories on this site, but now I’ll be adding a lot more than just that… since I’m trying to go to Australia and study abroad next semester, this is my way of letting people know what I’m up to. :p

For you oldtimers: Welcome back! Long time no see…? Or something like that… Basically, ya. I never had much use for this blog, but seeing as how I’m trying to go to study abroad in Australia next semester, and how I usually forget about keeping up with people once I leave them, this is how I’m (hopefully) going to let everyone know how I’m doing.

For those of you who are just now finding out that I’m trying to get out of LeTourneau, yes. I’m trying to study abroad (through Best Semester) in Sydney, Australia. I’d be attending the Studies Centre there, (NOT the state school (AUS)), and the fall semester is July 21-November 20.

I guess maybe I should back up and explain a few things as well… Like why Australia and not Han Dong where most of Letu students go…

So… I really like art. Like, a LOT. My senior year of high school consisted of the required two semesters of English and Bible… everything else I had was a Fine Art of some kind (or a study hall or practical art: sewing (don’t you DARE laugh! It’s not as easy as you’d think!)). The Fine Arts classes were Choir, three art classes (Drawing, Ink/Paint, and Clay), and photography. Now I am at LeTourneau University, which is primarily an engineering and aviation college… Devoid of almost all fine arts… Yes, there is a Jazz Band, and yes, there is a LeTourneau choir… and also the clubs like the LeTourneau University A cappella Singers. But I don’t play any instruments. And the LeTu choir and A Cappella singers… well... Let’s just say they’re not up to par with what I had in high school. :p There are zero art classes as well. I have been starved of art for the past TWO years!

Han Dong did not have any fine art classes that I could see or was interested in. However Australia did. :) which is why I picked ASC. Now, I could have just taken some art classes at like Kilgore or Tyler or even over the summer from UTA or TCC in Arlington. But I didn’t want to. TCC is a community college, and neither Kilgore nor Tyler are liberal arts colleges, (although they do have fine arts programs…) My main reason for going abroad to ASC is to be in an environment where I can basically immerse myself in the art-world. At ASC, I will be taking classes where I will be surrounded by other students who are striving to better themselves in their fine arts. We will be able to share in our struggles and strengths and to encourage and help each other. That kind of community does not exist at Letu. If it does, (and you are a part of it) then I have missed it completely and I apologize to those whom I may have offended or overlooked.

So… when I first talked to Marta about studying abroad, we got a little confused. She thought I wanted to go to the Australia state school, (AUS), which is part of the exchange student program. There weren’t any students from AUS that wanted to come here, so I thought about giving up on the whole idea. Then a couple of weeks later I decide to ask Marta again if there’s any news about the program. Still no one. :p so I give up again. THEN, for some strange reason, I double check with Marta about what the heck she’s talking about when she says AUS… Cuz I had talked with another student on my floor about going to Australia, and she said that she had the same problem with the lack of exchange student to take her place. … that is, until they got the colleges straightened out. That’s when I found out that there were two colleges in Australia that Letu students could go to. So after sending Marta an email asking which school we’re talking about, we figure out that the school I want to go to is ASC, in Sydney, which is an art school, and through Best Semester, which does NOT require a student to come to LeTourneau to take my place. SO! I ran to Marta’s office and got the paperwork that I needed to start the application process. :)
That was about a month before spring break. The week I got the paperwork I was busy with… I can’t remember what actually haha.. (my life has been so hectic!) I think that was the week that I talked with my advisor’s about what classes I can take in Australia that will transfer to my degree audit. The week after that I started running around campus finding all the teachers and faculty that I needed to sign the Approval for Study Abroad form. That took about two weeks, cuz I had to wait for someone to get back from a retreat that they were on over the weekend…

There were about 20 different signatures that I needed to get. In different buildings… and they weren’t in order either… and the faculty weren’t always there when they SAID they would be there… I also had to register for classes here and get all of my holds cleared before I could get a couple signatures. Also, my advisor and I had decided that I would take about 20 hours… 11 of which would count towards my degree audit. I had to fill out SO many forms to get that done the week before. AND talk to four or five different teachers to get their approval and signatures for those credit hours I would take in Australia. I even had to get a signature to take 20 hours (cuz 19 was the Letu limit for study abroad programs) Turns out… ASC only allows their students to take 17 hours max… they recommend 16-17 for exchange students, and I’m not really sure what the minimum is for their regular students… but even 16 hours is a challenge for them… (YIKES!) Soooo… I changed my schedule around to 17 hours, only 6 of which would I get transferred to my degree audit, and got that approved by Marta and by my advisor and the financial aid. So after getting that headache finished, I got ALL the signatures that I needed the DAY before Spring Break. :D

I got home the next day, and immediately started the online application to ASC. Got halfway through, and had to do laundry for traveling to SC.

That’s a whole other story to tell at another time! Ask me about my hitch-hiking adventure sometime ;) it’s great. Or ask JimmyFreakinStewart, Josh Heidorn, or Ian Sipley. They can tell you ALL about it. :p

So I get back to school… and I had 11 days to finish my application (due date was April 1st). Well… the week I got back I had a book to read and a paper (or three) to write by Tuesday night. On top of finishing the application. I was so nervous about everything that I was literally having nightmares and night terrors about not finishing the application, not getting in, not finishing my book and then the paper. It was terrible. I don’t ever remember actually sleeping those first three nights back (Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night). And that weekend I was also planning on painting the mural for Penn2. Apparently, some people on the floor didn’t know about that. So there was a little argument/fight/quarrel at Saga during lunch on Wednesday. (or was it dinner?) but basically, I ended up having to leave for a few minutes to cool down before I said something I would regret later on. Things eventually got straightened out later, and Penn2 came up with a design that I agreed to paint. So I sketched the design on Friday from about 3-5, break for dinner from 5-6:30ish I think, then back to sketching till around 8. During the break I also played Frisbee, then went and played MORE Frisbee after finishing the sketch. Then a bunch of us went and played sand volleyball. This was when I screwed up my foot somehow… After Volleyball, we went to wal-mart to buy the paint. That was fun too at like midnight :p we were all SO tired, and my foot was hurting SO bad.

That’s an entire OTHER story as well. Come and ask me about it sometime ;) it’s actually pretty funny :)

Saturday, I was up on Penn2 from 10am to 11:45ish, had lunch, then got back to painting from about 12:30pm till 9, working non-stop. FINALLY finished the mural, and we watched a movie, then I went and showered, then went to Sonic with Gary and Korey cuz I completely skipped dinner to finish the mural.

Check out the pics on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=209877&id=563845780

All of that with a hurt foot :p guess what I spent most of the next Monday worrying over? Lol..
By this time, I had two days (ish) to finish my application. While at the same time trying to figure out if my brother can visit me for the MuKappa Goat Roast (Easter weekend at Lake o’ the Pines), and organize a way to pick up my friend Jennifer from the airport on Friday before going to the Lake, and this and that and everything in between. I only had the essay questions left to work on, but they were getting VERY annoying to finish!

BUT! I was successful! I completed the entire online application on Thursday, April 1st. Including getting copies of my passport, transcripts, and certification form (with yet MORE signatures and even a SEAL this time too!) faxed to Australia. In fact, by 1pm that day I received an email from ASC saying that they had received EVERYTHING for my application and that they would notify my on the 19th…

……………………………………

So… It’s Sunday that I’m posting this… (even though I think I started it on Friday.. :p) about a day until I receive the acceptance/rejection letter. I’m so fricking nervous I don’t think I’ll be able to check my email at all on Monday! I literally have EVERYTHING riding on getting accepted to ASC. I haven’t even looked or thought about what classes I would take at Letu if I’m not accepted. I actually don’t think I will come back next semester. I’m thinking that I will stay with my grandma for a semester in Arlington and work on making a “home” there to actually go home to over the breaks. (See blog entry “Home… or lack thereof” (http://pyxieprincess.blogspot.com/2009/03/home-or-lack-thereof.html) it explains everything about home…) I’ll probably take art classes at the University of Texas in Arlington. My grandma or uncle can drive me there, so I’ll commute instead of live in yet another dorm. And I won’t be full-time, so I can get a job as well. (Hopefully :p possibly at the Container Store… they already have my job application actually… the only reason I didn’t go to the job interview is because I was having my wisdom teeth removed that same day :p gotta love scheduling, eh? [don’t you DARE call me a Canadian for saying that. I say it ALL the time, and I picked it up from my AUSTRALIAN friends, NOT my Canadian ones :P]).

So that’s my plan if ASC doesn’t happen. But OH MY GOSH… I’m literally putting everything on the line for this… I could just up and transfer to another school… At Liberty I’d get a free ride. Ouachita Baptist, where my brother Steven is, is cheaper and I got the same financial aid as I got from Letu. I could also go to JBU, where I’d get a lot more financial aid, or I can go to UTA. *shrugs* however, I’d probably change my major to something along the lines of graphic design or something more artistic than my English major (Digital Writing, which is not really developed AT ALL! I’m still trying to figure out why I’m sticking with a major of gen ed classes…). However, with a change of major and transfer, I’d have to repeat at least one year. IF I’m lucky…

So ya.. that’s the whole thought process behind going to Australia next semester.. well, most of it.. there are some parts of it that are NOT going online, because they are personal matters/issues, and there are others involved who, I’m sure, would rather remain nameless, at least, or even better not even part of it. *shrugs* that’s life. Whayagondoboutit? (Translation: what are you going to do about it). But that is most of it. Now I just have to patiently wait until Monday… and check my email many, many, many times that day.. or don’t check it at all until night time… but that would probably drive me crazy. I think what I’ll do is check my email, and when one comes in from ASC, I’ll have my roommate Summer Brown or someone close to me read it and tell me what it says…

For those of you who actually read this entire blog entry, KUDOS!!! And THANK YOU very much for dealing with my ramblings :p yes, I get very long-winded sometimes. And honestly this is the first time that I’ve ever put any of this down to words… so it’s been a challenge for me to write it all as well. (well, technically I TYPED it up.. and I type much faster than I write.. so perhaps not quite as long as I could have taken…) But ya! Please pray for me today and tomorrow as I wait expectantly for the email and act paranoid about being accepted or not. Also, PLEASE keep checking in on me on this blog. Whether I go to ASC or not, I plan to be updating this blog to let people know what’s going on. (I have the tendency when leaving a place to “shake the dust off my feet and wash my hands of people, looking on to the next/new horizon.” I don’t want to abandon my friends at Letu (and others around the world who may also be reading this!) so this is part of my way to keep up with you guys. The link to this blog is on my Facebook profile, so click on it and stuff… if I haven’t updated this in a week, then PLEASE bug me on facebook and tell me to get my rear in gear and update this! I really want to keep up with my blog this time, so please help me by badgering me ^_^

I think that’s all I have to say for now… it is now 2:22am on Sunday morning… (and I’m pretty sure I started writing this Friday afternoon) Josh Groban is playing on my iTunes, and it’s putting me to sleep.. so I think I shall leave it at that.. or, as my good friend Nicole Amper used to say… “Sleep calls my name in the distance, beckoning me to join it in its adventures in la-la land… I must join it… Goodnight.”

Main Character ^^,

2010-04-16T19:32:00.002-05:00

A single travel-weary horse and rider trotted down the moonlit road. It was a well-traveled highway, but not within the Sarcoranian rule and, therefore, not paved. The night was quiet, except for the sound of hooves thudding a measured cadence, the jingle of harness and bridle, and the occasional snore from the cloaked and sleeping rider. Despite the clear, moonlit night, it was impossible to distinguish any discernible features on the rider's face. He was slumped in his saddle with the cowl of his cloak obscuring most of his face, snoring, and obviously completely unaware of his surroundings. The night seemed peaceful enough--until a gang of five bandits burst from the trees lining the road. The two bandits on horses hurried to cut off the sleeping traveler from the front and behind. Meanwhile, the remaining three on foot converged on either side, attempting to pull him from the saddle. They were unpleasantly surprised to discover that their quarry was no longer asleep--nor groggy as most people are when they have just woken up.
Before any of the bandits could react, the two on the rider's right side fell away clutching daggers in their throats. The mounted bandit from behind drew his rusty short sword and rushed forward to the aid of his dying companions. The traveler, however, was faster, and punched the bandit in the face before the rusty sword posed any real threat. Being too stunned and concerned with his broken nose to notice, the bandit couldn't stop the traveler from seizing his rusty blade and slicing the head off of the bandit to the rider's left. Then the rider whipped around to ran the blade through its previous owner. The traveler left the rusty blade stuck in its owner and drew his own blade which had been hidden under his cloak. This blade was neither rust-splotched nor short. It was a curiously curved saber and razor sharp. The remaining bandit, seeing his comrades die before his eyes within seconds of each other, took one terrified look at his quarry-turned-threat before wheeling his horse around and galloping down the road.
The traveler chuckled grimly before kicking his horse into a gallop in pursuit. Though travel-weary, the traveler's horse was in better condition and of better breeding than the bandit's. Needless to say, the traveler caught up to the bandit easily. Swinging his sword in an arc, he sliced the bandit deeply across the ribs. The wound was deep, but not deep enough to kill immediately. The injured bandit slumped forward, and promptly fell off his still-galloping horse. The victorious rider grabbed the bandit-horse's reins before it galloped away. The rider dismounted from his own horse to quiet the bandit-horse. Satisfied that it was calmed, the rider walked it to a nearby tree and tethered it there. His own mount wandered to the grass to graze. The rider had no fear of his mount running off.
Turning from the now-grazing mounts, the traveler strode to the dying bandit. With the full moon bright overhead, it was easy to see every feature of the dying man's hard face. It was still impossible, however, for the bandit to see his killer's face. The killer knelt down on one knee and gazed into the dying man's eyes. Saying nothing, the rider pushed back his hood to reveal--.
"A woman?" the bandit gasped wetly. His eyes practically bulged out of his sockets at the sight of this woman who just defeated his band of criminals easily.
The woman smiled. "Very perceptive, aren't you. When you're dying that is. Didn't expect a woman when you first attacked, did you now?" The bandit struggled to speak, to curse, to scream, to utter anything intelligible, but could only gurgle blood in reply. "Next time," the woman went on, "you'll think a little more before you decide to attack anyone on the road, won't you? Or perhaps not, since that gash will kill you before anyone finds you." She stared menacingly into her victim's eyes before shaking her head in resigned disgust at the bandit's stupidity before rising to her feet. She resolutely turned her back on the still-dying man and collected the two mounts. With a few soft-spoken words, the mounts followed her gentle tug on the reins peacefully.
"Are you really just going to let him die like that, Logan?" asked a deep voice from nowhere. The victor of the skirmish, Logan, glared at her mount as if he had voiced the question.
"What are you now, my conscience?" Her voice was a rich mezzo-soprano, tinged with a bit of frustration. "Of course i'm going to let him die. he and his pitiful band attacked us first, remember? Intending to kill. Why shouldn't i leave him for dead? Besides, I really hate bandits." Her mount said nothing, only stopped and stared fixedly at Logan, as if refusing to budge an inch until she changed her mind.
Groaning in exasperation at her self-righteous mount, Logan released the talking mount's reins to pull back her arm and turned as if to throw something in the dying bandit's direction. She uttered three quiet words and launched a fireball. The bandit became a pile of ashes in an instant. A stout wind conveniently picked up the ashes and scattered them so that no trace was left of the bandit, not even his blood.
Logan exhaled heavily, quieted her new horse, then glared at her stubborn steed. "There. Are you happy now?" And with that, she and her two mounts walked back to the other dead bodies. Logan retrieved and cleaned her daggers before sheathing them up her sleeves, took whatever food or money the bandits had, and collected the other bandit's horse. She threw off the flea-infested saddles and the worn saddlebags. She distributed her own packs and gear evenly between the three horses before tying the two bandit horses to a lead string. With that done, Logan mounted her own horse and continued riding in the direction she was going originally.
From the moon's position, Logan knew she should stop to sleep after an hour or two more of travel. She kicked the horses into an easy canter and the night was once again quiet and peaceful.
"Idiotic, stubborn, self-righteous brute," Logan cursed at her mount.

Catherine...

2010-04-16T19:31:00.001-05:00

Catherine watched the docking ships with interest. Unless she was mistaken, that ship, the Vella, would be putting back out to sea as soon as the new wares were loaded, if the weather agreed. Catherine had spent the last few days scouting out the area, listening in wherever she could of possible shipments coming in and going out. The economy was good these days, and this new delicacy, "chocolate," was becoming very popular with the high-born ladies. Shipments of the sweet brown dessert were going out in the boat-loads! From her sources, Catherine knew that Vella would most likely be taking out a shipment of this "chocolate" in the next few days. The weather seemed like it would hold out until then at least, and the chocolate was already here and waiting to be shipped. The crew would only get a one or two days rest, mayhap, before setting out again with the next tide.
As a rich merchant's daughter, Catherine had to know the workings of hiring a ship and how long said ship would be in port. To improve on her school lessons though, Catherine would sneak off to the docks to watch the loading and unloading of ships since she was five. Her mother, of course, would never have approved of this if she had ever known.
Unfortunately for Catherine, she wasn't a rich merchant's daughter anymore. If she were a rich merchant's daughter, she'd be escorted by at least two armed guards. No wealthy parent would ever let their daughter of marrying age wander about the city alone. However Catherine was alone--alone and in a dark alley at the wharfs, hiding behind a barrel of what smelled like rotting fish. If the smell wasn't enough to keep people away, her appearance more than made up for it. Her once-fine clothing was in tatters. Her skirt sported no less than three patches, some already ripping larger holes in the dirty garment. Her bodice showed signs of being white at one time or another but was now gray from dirt. There were also scorch marks scattered all over the bodice. Catherine's hair, which normally draped in beautiful curls down her back, was now extremely frizzy and disheveled. It also smelled strongly of smoke. To further scare anyone away, Catherine had so much soot and dirt on her face that she resembled a raccoon more than a human being!
Truly, to any passersby, Catherine was nothing more than some harmless but unfortunate girl whose house went up in flames--that, or she had slept with the pigs on more than one occasion. Her disguise, although purely by happenstance, was perfect for being ignored. Perfect enough to get her onto a ship if she was careful enough. All she had to do was sneak on board and stay hidden until they put out to sea. After a couple of days it should be safe to emerge, if she wasn't found out sooner. The worst they could do is throw her overboard, but surely, her being a lady and all, they'd at least send her back in a rowboat with a day's food and provisions, right?
Wrong
Catherine had finally come to terms with her situation: she was screwed. Utterly and totally screwed. There was no way the captain of Vella would leave his ship unguarded at night. Nor would Catherine know where to hide. She'd never been on a ship before in her life! How was she to find a good hiding place for a couple of days and not starve in the hiding? She had no money to buy her own food, or even for a decent bath at the cheapest bathhouse in the city!
No. the only way Catherine could get on the Vella would be to somehow convince the captain that he needed her on his shop or that she could she could pay upon arrival. Both ideas seemed impossible, however. Since sailors were superstitious, they would never allow Catherine on their ship because she was a woman. The second idea could never happen. It was obvious that Catherine didn't have anyone waiting for her wherever she was going. All she had were the clothes on her back and the signet ring hanging from a leather cord around her neck. The ring was all she had of monetary value, but it was worth so much more to her: it was her lifeline, her only chance of survival. If she were to give up her ring for passage, how would she ever find the ring's true owner once she reached Sarcorannis? No one would believe her without the ring as proof. No even her father.

Something new..

2009-04-16T20:28:00.003-05:00

The bedraggled man stumbled down the dimly lit street. He was an average-looking street thug, about 20 years of age. He had dark brown hair, drenched in the deluge of pouring rain. He was about five feet and ten inches, but at the moment our brute was doubled over, clutching a bleeding side. His brown eyes were bloodshot and hazy with fever, his breathing haggard. The thug collapsed against the nearest wall on the shop lined street.
I'm such a fool," he whispered with his last breath. With that, his tired bloodshot eyes closed in a semblance of terrorized sleep.

The eyes opened slowly to a dark silhouette, framed by bright, blurry lights. The injured brute started to rise, but the silhouette solidified into a dark haired woman with blue eyes and rosy cheeks. "No, no, Mister. We can't have you trying to be up and about just yet." She smiled happily as she pushed the patient back onto the bed.
"Where am I?" he asked, wearily raising his hand tp to feel his bandaged crown.
The nurse-lady gently seized his wrist and easily forced his arm back to his side before drawing the covers up to the patient's chin. "You took quite a nasty blow to your head," she replied, obviously ignoring the man's question. "You'll have to remain here for a few days, I'm afraid. Where are you from?" She smiled so brightly her eyes crinkled up and almost disappeared. "Can you remember anything?"
The man simply stared at her, then closed his eyes as if in pain. "Blustovia. I'm from Blustovia. Where am I now?"
"Well that can't be true! You have the look of a Lystrian about you. Now how can you claim to be Blustovian? Everyone knows that Blustovian men all have beards and brown weathered skin from the harsh weather conditions. No, surely not," she chattered on. "You must be Lystrian. Your skin is so fair and soft. And your face shows no signs of a beard! Now how can anyone claim to be Blustovian if they don't have a beard?"
That was it. He'd had enough. The injured -- and now more than slightly frustrated -- man sat up so quickly that he started the nattering nurse off her stool. "Don't you ever shut up, you blabbering fool? I'm an injured man who just survived a near death experience and all you can think to do is tell me why I can't be Blustovian? By the gods, woman! What kind of an idiot are you? You won't even tell me where I am! Is there anything in that thick skull of yours other than nonsense!"
The nurse was on the floor cowering now, tears leaking from her eyes and her hand brought up as if to shield herself from her patient's cruel words. The patient was also feeling light-headed after his outburst. Perhaps he should have listened to the fool woman's nattering and staying lying down?
The man sighed and looked at his empty hands now lying in his lap. He looked over at the still cowering nurse. "Look," he begam more gently than before. "I'm sorry I frightened you, but could you please tell me where I am and what day it is?"
"It's the 24th of March. And you're in Cratanya's House of Healing," a new, stronger and sterner voice answered from the doorway. It belonged to a middle-aged woman in white healer's robes. She was very formidable-looking, and not one to be trifled with. "If you ever frighten one of my staff again I will take it out of your hide after healing you and then send you out into the streets with nothing but the clothes on your back. Maybe not even that much. You should be grateful Talia has been caring for you. She found you almost dead and dragged you here herself in the dead of night. She's even using her own pay to take care of you!"
The man was stunned. He looked at the nurse on the floor, not cowering anymore, but looking more than a little embarrassed. Then he looked back at the woman standing in the doorway. His gaze shifted between them a few times before lowering his eyes down to his hands. "I'm sorry," he mumbled in a quiet voice. "I owe you women my life, and I have not treated you kindly. You have taken very good care of me, but I have returned your kindness with cruelty and impatience. Please forgive me."
Silence.
"It's -- it's alright," Talia began. "You've had a terrible accident, or lost in a fight. Of course you'd be disoriented. I can't help talking so much. Does your head hurt -- from hearing my babble?"
Talia looked at the man with such pure eyes that he could not refuse to smile and please her.
"No, I feel fine. Thank you."
"Well!" harrumphed the white-robed woman. "At least you havesome manners. I am Tinka, and I run this establishment. What is your name?"
"Kanal. My name is Kanal Westpoint."

Trent ch 4

2009-04-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

Chapter Four

The rhythmic sound of hammer striking metal rang through the forge. The hard rain drops plopping on the roof muffled the monotonous clanging slightly, but if you stood right by the walls you could hear it clearly.
Trent was busy at the forge, making new swords for her shop. There hadn’t been any special orders lately, but since she enjoyed making swords most of all, she would always make one when there was free time. This one would be rather plain looking, but one of her strongest. Using one of her spells for metal strengthening and a special way of heating the metal, Trent would make sure this sword would never break, or chip, or lose its edge. She was still deciding what to do about the cross-guard—if she should fashion an ornamental one out of iron, gold, or silver, or if she should just make a plain guard. Perhaps just a plain one—to emphasize the plain appearance. But she would definitely have to make an inscription, with runes, Yaman, or Scanran. No. Maybe that would be too much.
“Oi! Miss Trent!” a young, uncouth voice hissed outside Trent’s windows. “I needs to speak to ya.”
Trent’s thoughts and her hammer abruptly stopped in mid-swing. “Who’s there?” She looked up from her work and scanned the room quickly with her eyes. There! At the near window. There was a tiny bit of movement. With this heavy rain and it being this late already, too late for people to be calling, it only meant one thing.
Thieves.
She put down hammer, tongs, and sword blade, and walked softly towards the back window. She pushed it open, ignoring the cold wind and wet that sprayed onto her face and leather apron and that chilled her bare limbs after the forge blaze’s heat, to see who was calling.
She thrust the window open so swiftly that she startled the boy outside. He jumped at least a foot—he was so skinny, it was no wonder he could jump so high, light as he was—at least a foot back out into the pouring rain. He gulped. “It’s me, Miss. Rat,” he said as he stepped quickly back under the roof’s cover from the rain.
“What do you want Rat? I’ve a sword I need to finish before it’s ruined, and I can’t have your kind around here too long or I’ll start losin’ customers,” she said gruffly.
“It’s real impor’ent. Honest, Miss.”
Trent studied him with a scrutinizing eye. Rat was around ten or twelve years old, with red hair, at least when it wasn’t as muddy as it is now. His clothes were also muddy, and torn; there was blood trickling down one of his knees, from his nose, and his eye was blackened as well. From at least a day ago, she guessed. Something must be amiss. Normally, when Rat was surprised—and that wasn’t often—he would scowl, then grumble as he trotted forward to his former stance. But he hadn’t this time. He seemed, humble. Begging almost. But she still had to be wary of him. Not only was Rat one of the best pick-pockets of the entire Rogue, he was also the best Player and could act like a professional.
“The last time you said that, Rat,” she finally, “it was a cat that you had found and didn’t know how to get rid of. And then I had to take it into my shop, bathe it—”
“It’s the King, Miss. He’s sick.”
That stopped Trent in mid-word. “How long?”
“Three days. No change a’ tall, and our own mages can’t find what’s wrong.”
Trent stood there for about a minute, thinking, while Rat shifted nervously from foot to foot in the pouring rain.
She knew he was telling the truth, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Trent could tell easily whenever people were lying to her, no matter how well they could act, or how long she had known them. But if he is battered this much, and it’s been three days, something must be wrong in the Rogue as well. The Rogue’s mages were very good healers, able to cure the common cold easily, as well as dealing with pestilence often enough to keep plagues from starting in the sewers. But if they couldn’t find any natural reason for the Rogue King’s sickness, there was only one thing left: poison.
The Rogue’s mages were almost as good as the palace healers, actually. And so it wouldn’t take them three days, even if it was a poison they’d never encountered before. They must have fought whether or not to ask for help, after finding they couldn’t cure it themselves. It looks like Rat’s side lost, but he came anyway.
Finally she answered him: “Wait.”
“Ivan!” she called, poking her head into the store where he was closing up. “I have to go out. There’s a rat problem again.”
Ivan looked up from the fireplace he had just smothered. He heard her emphasis on ‘rat’ and nodded without a blinking, immediately understanding where she needed to go, and that she’d be gone for a while. “I’ll take care of things here for a while. Until you come back, Lass. Send someone if you need anything, and I’ll send whatever it is you need back with him. I don’t want to know where they live, but I’ll help if you’re helping.”
“Thanks, Ivan.” She turned to go back into the workshop and up the stairs when she remembered her promise to her uncles. “Ivan. Will you explain to Neal and Merric if I’m not back by lunch tomorrow?”
“Of course, Lass. I’ll take care of it.”
She nodded briefly, then ran up the stairs.

After fifteen minutes of winding their way through the busy rainy streets, Trent finally pulled Rat up short by the collar.
“Rat. I already know the way into the Court of Thieves. All this is doing is costing your king precious time to live. So I suggest we stop going in circles and go to the court. Now.”
Rat gulped and nodded. He turned back to the city and looked around at the lampposts. “The quickest entrance is over here,” he said, and walked into the nearest tavern.
It was a clean and orderly sort of inn—not the kind you would expect to find the King of the Rogue hiding in. But this is where Trent had come before—on accident, actually—on her way home from the market one time when the weather had turned bad. The rain had turned to hail, and wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, so Trent got a room for the night. Everything was going fine until one of the normal customers tried to get friendly with her while attempting to steal her money purse.
She retaliated, of course, slicing him across the chest with one of her many hidden daggers, then pressed the blade to his neck. The only problem was the man’s unexpected armsmen. Unfortunately, the man she was threatening was the King of Thieves.
Lucky for Trent, he took the whole fiasco as a joke! He introduced himself, and his men that had been holding swords to her throat, and invited her to sup with him. He even offered to pay for her rent as well! She refused of course, but when she got home the next day she found all the money she had paid for room and food in neat stacks on her dresser.
Since that day the King of the Rogue and Trent became fast friends. She would never help him in his crimes and he knew that. And as long as his schemes didn’t affect her, she felt no reason to alert the authorities.

Trent ch 3

2009-04-16T15:09:00.002-05:00

Chapter Three

I sent that boy on his way home, Trent.” Ivan called to Trent. He had just closed the shop for midday meal, and was standing in the doorway watching Trent as she labored on another sword—this one for Haven. She would come and visit when their brother Domi—whom they called their ‘cousin’ to keep their parent’s marriage a secret—when Domi took the Fourth-year Page Examinations. They’d seen each other only once since Haven joined the Shang, and it was only by coincidence. The Shang were on another round through the various kingdoms, looking for likely warriors willing to join their numbers. Haven, having left before the other three started to change their appearance, looked unchanged—the only original copy of the four girls.
Trent’s version of the charm wasn’t too far off from the original, but it was hard to tell when she was at work in the forge and covered in sweat. She was wearing her usual blacksmith garb: tight black breeches, soft-soled knee-high boots, no shirt, and a full-length leather work-apron. Trent loved the heat, and liked to expose as much of her body to it as possible. Ivan, on the other hand, was in full garb. He wore dark brown breeches, mid-calf soft-soled shoes, a white shirt, and a light brown vest with the Armoury’s emblem of a snowy white owl on the right breast. Trent had copied the owl from her mother’s first shield.
“Thank you, Ivan,” she called back, not turning from her work. She knew he had been standing there for a while. He always did that, ever since he started training her as an apprentice. But she hadn’t known that until the day she burned her hand and he came running over with an ice-cold cloth from the ever-present icebox and rescued her finger. After that, Trent always looked over her shoulder when she thought she was alone in the forge only to discover that she was wrong. Most times, Ivan would be at another work place doing something with his hands, and watching her—just to make sure that she was safe. On one occasion Trent commented that he was acting like a mother hen. He was indignant, and denied ever watching her, but they both knew better. Ivan was a mother hen, and thought of her as his niece. He protected her, and comforted her when she cried—albeit awkwardly at first, but now that Trent rarely cried, he listened to her vent frustrations instead of offer his shoulder. It looked like some venting would happen soon.
“He walked right by me, and didn’t recognize me,” Trent went on in a bitter voice. “They’re all so prejudiced.” She wrinkled her nose in disdain.
He was afraid of this. Trent hated to be the center of attention, but at the same time she hated it when she was dismissed, overlooked, or not taken seriously. But that’s not what scared Ivan: Trent was starting to vent, but Ivan knew that his reply could only lead to a touchier and over-fought subject, which would take them to the painful past. His shirt was bound to get wet. Ivan thought his answer over carefully. “He wanted to thank you. He was probably so focused on finding you the same way he saw you the night before, that he didn’t recognize you at the forge. He’s not as prejudiced as you think he is.” He hesitated. What he had to say next would bring on the storm of tears, but it had to be said. It always did. He took a deep breath and plunged on. “From what I can see, the only one prejudiced is you.”
Trent stopped her hammer in mid-swing. She lowered it slowly and turned to look at him with hurt eyes. “That’s not fair, Ivan. You know why I don’t trust nobles.” She completely forgot her former complaint, and focused on the insult. “You know what they did to—.” Her eyes started to well up with tears.
“Yes, Lass. I know—I know why you hate nobles.” He walked over to her and wrapped her up in a giant hug. She clung to him, her eyes now spilling over. “I’m as sorry as you are to bring the subject up again, but you have to let it all go, Trent. Put the past behind you and move on.” He kissed her on the head, and released her. “You’re a smart woman, Trent. It’s about time you started acting like one.” Trent nodded.
“I suppose you’re right. But—. It’s hard to forget. When you’ve been hurt so many times, it kinda leaves a lasting impression on you.” She turned back to her work before it was too late for her to finish.
“I know it’s hard, Trent. But please try. Don’t let the past get in the way of a new beginning.” He walked back to the door of the store. “By the way. How much sleep-poison did you give him?” he asked changing the subject.
“It’s called sleep-weed. And I think I gave him too much. He slept all day yesterday without waking up even once, but he was able to heal almost completely during that time,” she assured Ivan. “Besides,” she smiled to herself, “he was cute to look at. Almost peaceful when he slept.”
“You’re going soft, girl,” Ivan growled. Trent just laughed.
“No. Not really. He was just a little different somehow. Like I’ve met him before or something. Or someone very much like him. Hmm,” she mused. “I wonder if I have met him before, a very long time ago. Perhaps when I was just a babe.”
“Didn’t you just call him prejudiced not two minutes ago? I wish you’d make up your mind, Lass! Either fall in love with the boy or hate him! Stop floundering in between, or you’ll get me confused!” he teased her.
“I am not falling in love with anyone, Ivan. He just reminds me of someone that I know. Someone who was, or maybe still, is very important in my life.” Trent stopped her work again, this time to gaze into the flames of her forge.
“I think you’d better get that boy out of your head before you ruin that sword that you’re supposed to be working on for your sister.” Trent’s head snapped back down to her work, and she immediately started moving again. Leave it to Ivan to embarrass you and bring you back to reality all in one swift move. “You have that day-dreaming look on your face that only innocent, swooning, foolish maidens get when they see a man with a cute face and broad shoulders.”
Trent glared at him. “He’s not distracting me! And besides, I can probably concentrate on the smithy a lot better than he’ll be able to concentrate on anything for a few days! You wouldn’t believe how he stared at me! He was still delirious while I was about to re-open his wound and he complimented my on my eyes! My eyes! When he was delirious! How many other men have liked my eyes, and not been able to even walk straight for a week?”
“I’ve lost count. After the first month, I didn’t think it was worth it, all those boys walking into my shop with a mission and a list of what they needed, only to suddenly go mute or dumb when they saw you.” Ivan grinned at her wolfishly. She stuck her tongue back out at him. “Great. Glad you’re back to your normal, cranky self. Now finish that sword so we can eat!”
“Yes sir!” Trent attacked her work with renewed vigor.

I can’t believe it.” Neal and Merric were still in Neal’s rooms after Nathaniel was sent off. He was still a little weak, but he was practically healed completely. There would hardly even be a scar left over!
“Neither can I,” Neal agreed.
“She’s actually here. I haven’t seen her since she was tiny!” Merric was dazed. He had been there for the quads’ birth, and had helped raise them until they were about seven. But that was the last he had seen of Trinity. Haven left to join the Shang Warriors when they were all four. She was the earliest to leave. Hope and Dry left when they were ten to go to the University in Carthak and to go to the convent to become a lady, but he had not seen that. And Trinity, as far as Merric and Neal knew, had stayed with her mother in Scanra. They had no idea what she had made of herself, but if she was working in an armoury—. There was almost no doubt that she was her mother’s daughter.
“We have to go see her.”
“I fully agree, Merric, but what about Domi. They’re family, you know. Does he even know that she’s here?”
“I don’t know Neal. But surely she’d have sent word if she wanted people to know she was here. Wouldn’t she?”
“We don’t really know that Merric. Remember, we haven’t seen her since she was five! And she was very determined, and Raoul knew her the best. And besides, if she’s working in an armoury she could be trying to blend in with the commoners, to be known as a noble. I can’t imagine why she would do that though.”
“We can ask her that when we see her, but for now, we’ve got to find her!”

Trent was in the middle of forging a sword, when she had special visitors come to call. “Hello? Trinity? Are you here?” Neal called.
“Ivan! I’m a little busy right now. Can you deal with them?” Trent called from the forge behind the store.
“No problem, Lass.” He put down his whetstone and stood up from behind the desk to greet the visitors. “Hello, good sirs. I am Ivan von Dreger, Trent’s master. How may I help you?
“I am Sir Nealan of Queenscove, and this is Sir Merric of Hollyrose. We’re old friends of—Trent.”
“Ah! So you’re the ones! I’ve heard a lot about you both from Trent. It’s a pleasure to meet you finally.” Neal and Merric each took Ivan’s outstretched hand in turn and shook it firmly.
“Trent, eh?” Merric began. “Not—.”
“No. She gave up that name years ago. When she first came to study under me, actually. She wanted a normal, common name—so she could fit into society better and avoid the pesky court nobles at the same time,” he winked, and they laughed nervously at his joke, not really understanding. When Ivan noticed, he said, “You don’t know, do you. About the court, the men there.” They shook their heads, dumbfounded.
“What do you mean by ‘the men there’? Was she harmed in any way?” Merric asked.
“Who? I’ll kill him! I don’t care if it’s the king’s son, I’ll kill him!” Neal declared hotly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa—keep your noble shirts on. No! It’s not like that, not like what you’re thinking. Well, not exactly. She was mistreated, yes, but nothing permanently damaging. She just holds a grudge now. Which is why I thought it was a miracle that she helped that lad from—.”
Ivan stopped talking when Neal and Merric grinned at each other wickedly. “You know the boy?”
“Oh yes. And so does Trini—I mean Trent. But she was very small. Just a babe when they met.”
“Tell me, has Trent been able to concentrate on—wait. When did she start to work under you? And in what?”
“You don’t know? She wrote you every week. But she didn’t tell you? I’m surprised,” he laughed to himself. “Trent has been learning the trade of a blacksmith since she was seven. She’s very good at it, actually. She’s a journeywoman now, and almost ready to be a Master. I’m just here to make sure she doesn’t start any fights, or be rude to too many nobles. And I don’t live with her,” he assured them. “She’s like a niece or daughter to me and I’d never try to take advantage of her. I live down the street. A couple blocks, actually. The girl is very independent—she likes it that way—and I let her have her privacy.”
“Well, I can see that she’s been in good hands,” Neal said.
“This shop then, it’s hers?” Merric asked. “Since you live two blocks down the road, I mean.”
“Yes, sir. She picked the spot herself, actually. Bought it last time we were here, in fact—so she’d already have a place to set up shop if she ever decided to return to Tortall to stay. She designed the whole place too. Wanted the store in the front, where people could see all the wares, and the forge in the back where it’s hottest. She likes it that way. The heat helps her concentrate, and it gives better quality metal, too.”
“I see,” Merric said.
“Uncle Merric! Uncle Neal!” It was then that Trinity—Trent—emerged from the forge, carrying her newest creation. It was marvelous, handcrafted steel. Almost blue, like the Tyran kind. The blade was sinuous, curving ever so slightly, giving it a deadlier look. The blade was razor sharp, and perfectly balanced with the handle. She laid it down on her desk—almost nonchalantly!—and ran into Neal’s and Merric’s outstretched arms to be enveloped in a giant bear hug. “Oh! I’ve missed you so much!”
“We’ve missed you, too. How are you?”
“You’ve grown so much!” Merric said staring at her in disbelief.
“I’m well. Very well,” she smiled. “As you can see, I have my own store, with Ivan to look after me, and it’s doing quite well. But how did you know I was here?”
“It’s a long story. Trent. So why don’t you let us treat you to lunch, and we’ll talk more about it there?” She thought about it for a while.
“Ivan?” she began sweetly.
“Yes, lass?”
“Would you be so very kind as to watch my store for me?” She blinked her eyes winsomely at him.
“Of course! How can a man say no to those eyes!” he laughed. “Where would you like me to put your latest work?” he asked, hefting the magnificent sword.
“In the safe box, please. It’s a gift; not for sale.”
“As you wish, lass.”
“Thank you, Ivan.” And with that, the three nobles walked out of the store, with Trent betwixt the two taller men.
They walked in constant chatter, all the way to the Grapevine, a prosperous inn, where many knights frequented. Trent tried to object, but they insisted. They wanted to treat her to a special meal, since they had not seen her in years. And besides, it had the best food in Corus. Trent found it hard to object.
The food was delicious! And the company could not be better. Trent had not seen her adoptive uncles since she was five! That was a long time ago. If not for their constant correspondence by letter, she would not have remembered them. They sent her portraits of themselves and of loved ones, and she sent them portraits in return.
But two years ago, she stopped sending her letters. Her uncles didn’t know why, and frankly, neither did Trent. She didn’t want to go back to Tortall then, and had thought it best to cut off all communication with that part of her childhood. But she couldn’t shut the door forever. That was part of the reason why she had decided to come back: family. Extended, real, and adopted. There were so many people here in Tortall who loved her, had cared for her as a babe during the war, and had missed her while she was away. Trent finally admitted that she couldn’t turn her back on them all. It would be like cutting off her arms, her arms that enabled her to be a blacksmith, to live amongst the commoners. Trent couldn’t give that up either.
“So,” Uncle Neal began. “Have you been able to concentrate properly on your work?”
“Of course. Didn’t you see that sword that I just forged?” she defended herself.
“Well, not really. You hid it quickly,” Uncle Merric objected.
“Oh. Sorry. Why do you ask, Uncle Neal?” she asked, interested in their peculiarities.
“Oh, no reason in particular. Do you remember that young man whom you sheltered the other day?” Uncle Merric asked innocently.
“Yes, why?”
“You saved his life.” Coming from Uncle Neal, it couldn’t be denied. He was the only one who was able to recognize Trent’s magic, but only after a few days and if he was in close proximity to the one effected.
“Yes. I only let him in my store after closing hours because he was practically dead on his feet!”
“You’ve gone hard, Trent,” Merric said. “There was a day when you would have opened your hospitable arms to any man who knocked at your door.”
“That was before the Scanran court,” Trent said, taking a deep drink of her slightly alcoholic fruit juice. She never drank alcohol straight. “Why do you ask about the lordling? Was he the king’s grandson or something?”
“Close, but not that close. It’s actually quite amusing,” Uncle Neal said smiling. “Would you like to hear?”
“I suppose.” Trent stretched. “I’ve got nothing better to do at the moment,” she said, trying to hide her excitement. She loved Uncle Neal’s stories. He was such a jester, and he could always make her laugh.
“Well, he was over a week late and we were all getting worried. It was very unlike him to be so late! So we woke up at dawn, all of us ready to go charging out the gates on a reckless search for the poor boy! But of course, we had to make plans, and as we all had our own ideas, and not the strategic abilities of your mother, it took us half the morning! Eventually, we were ready to go. We gathered at the stables an hour before noon and set out towards the gate, and whichever strange plan that we had come up with. Well, we got to the gate as it was opening, and who do you think we saw coming up the hill at full gallop?
“No! Not—!” Trent was on the edge of her seat. She loved Uncle Neal’s exaggerations of real life situations.
“It was the little lordling! Tired and battered from a day and two nights spent in an armoury’s storehouse! We didn’t even recognize him in such poor clothing!” Uncle Neal teased, knowing full well that Trent would never clothe anyone in anything less than the best quality of material.
She took the joke well. “His clothes were infected from his wound and the fever, Uncle Neal, so I had to get them away from him before they started to infect my whole store. And those clothes were the largest ones I had.”
“That’s as may be, but he looked terrible!”
“Now, you know that’s not true, Neal. You didn’t even notice he was missing!”
“That’s beside the point, Merric. He’s not my squire. And who’s telling the story here? You or me?” Uncle Merric gave up the floor.
“As I was saying, we were about to charge out the gates when we saw your little lordling stagger half-dead through the gates! Sir Wallace was furious!”
“He almost got the bucket,” Merric took over. “That is, until Neal came in. He must have sensed your healing work, because he was the only one who believed the boy when he said that he had been waylaid by bandits.”
“Basically, I checked his temperature, his practically-healed wound—you did a very good job on that, might I add. I’m going to have to get more attuned to your powers!—and declared that he was telling the truth because he was in perfect health.”
“Which only confused Sir Wallace more.”
“We tried to explain—to an extent. More so that he would stop asking questions than understand what we were saying, which was impossible for him.”
“You two are evil, Uncle Neal!”
“I know,” Uncle Merric said humbly.
“We try,” Uncle Neal added in kind. “Well anyway. The boy is fine, and he’s dying to know your name.”
“You don’t mean to tell me that—d?”
“That he’s in love with you?” Uncle Neal finished on top of her.
“That he can’t concentrate on anything anymore because he’s fallen under the spell of your dazzling eyes?” Uncle Merric added.
“Very funny you too.”
“We’re serious, Trent! The boy starts day-dreaming at just the mention of your armoury!”
“It reminds me of puppy love, actually.”
“And of course you’d know all about puppy love, Neal. Since you had it more than anyone else in history who has ever gained knighthood.”
“Very funny, Merric. If I were you, I’d keep that tongue between your teeth before I chop it out!”
The rest of the meal was uneventful, and they returned Trent to her store with more stories on the way of Uncle Neal’s and Uncle Merric’s adventures with her mother. They were about to leave, but Trent insisted that they look around her store first. She was a girl to the core, and couldn’t help but want to show off what she had accomplished. Trent showed them about the store and her forge, telling them about her work there in Corus, showing them her latest masterpieces, her first works at the forge, and the plans that she still had for the store and the forge. Her uncles were amazed.
“Wow. You’re really moving up in the world. Of course, it’s not who you really are, Trent. You know that, right? You could have it so much easier if you just told the people who you really are.”
“But I don’t want it easier, Uncle Neal. I like the way I live. I love the smithy. And I don’t want to be known as one of the nobles. It closes so many doors, and locks so many people’s hearts. And that’s precisely why I’m disclaiming my inheritance. I love my parents and my family, and you all, but I hated court. I hate nobles, and I would hate to live as one when it’s so much more fulfilling in life to live as I do now.”
“What happened to you, Trinity?” Merric asked, on the verge of wrapping Trent in another hug.
“I’d really rather not talk about it, Uncle Merric,” she said quietly, her eyes pleading.
Silence.
“Do you know the name of the boy you saved?”
“No, and I don’t want to know, Uncle Neal.”
“Are you sure? He’s dying to know your name. He can’t hardly think of anything but you.”
“Stop teasing me, you two! I don’t have time for a husband! I have work to do! A business to run, things to make! You really expect me to go searching for a lover?”
“I just thought you’d be interested to know. He’s my squire, by the way.”
“Really? What year?” Trent’s interest was piqued. Knightly matters always did that. It was all because of her mother’s stories of when she was studying to be a knight. Trent loved her stories of how she and her friends had gotten into scrapes, fought bandits and spidrens and centaurs.
“He’s a third-year squire. He’s about your age, too, I think. He started a few years late. Aren’t you eighteen thereabouts?” Sir Merric asked innocently.
“Yes, I’m eighteen. What are you hinting at, Uncle Merric?” Trent was suspicious now. Her uncles had never acted this way before.
“Oh, nothing. I just think that you and my squire have a lot in common. Why don’t I properly introduce you sometime? He keeps asking me your name.”
“No. I want nothing to do with nobles and the palace and the court. I hate it!”
“So. You won’t even come to the palace for your brother’s birthday? He’s turning fifteen, you know. And he hasn’t seen you in years. Do you even have a gift for him?”
“He’d love for you to be there,” Neal finished.
“Of course I have a gift for my cousin! What do you think that sword I made earlier was for? To sell!” She turned her nose up at the very thought. “I’d never sell such a magnificent sword. To a commoner, or a noble.”
“Well, why don’t you attend his party?”
“He’s having a party?” she asked suspiciously.
“Yes, he is. In the evening. We’ve asked for one of the spare small ballrooms. It’s a private party, mainly other squires, and a few pages and knights. Most of them might be a little young for you, but some of them have started late, so they’re about your age. You might like to meet them.”
“Why should I believe anything you’re telling me right now?” Trent asked them pointedly. “You’ve both just been trying to set me up with that lordling puppy that I rescued, and now you’re convincing me to attend my cousin’s private party! Is it because the lordling will be there?”
“Well, he might be there. He’s a third-year squire, whereas your—cousin—is a first-year. But I do believe that they know each other, so the lordling could probably be there.”
“But that’s not the point, Trent,” Uncle Merric continued. “The point is that you haven’t seen your bro—I mean cousin, in a long time. And this is a wonderful opportunity for a reunion. Who cares who else will be there! No one will guess the real connection between you two.”
Trent thought about it for a minute. “Introduce me to the palace blacksmiths, and I’ll come. And in a dress, too!”
“Done then!” Uncle Neal exclaimed, holding his hand out. Trent shook it, sealing the deal, and did the same with her Uncle Merric. “We’ll pick you up at lunch, show you around, let you hide out wherever you want, and then it’ll be time for your cousin’s party.”
“Bye, then. Take care, Trent.”
“You old goons!” Trent teased them as she pushed them out her doorway.

Trent ch 2

2009-04-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

Chapter Two

When next the traveler woke, it was a bright, clear, and cloudless morning morning. There was not a cloud in the sky. Nathaniel loved it when the sky did that after a storm. It was so peaceful that if one did not look at the mud he was trudging through, he would forget that there was a storm the night before. This was one such morning. The woman had set out a breakfast for him in the room that he slept in, but he never saw her. It was as if she had disappeared. He came down the stairs and noticed a tall, skinny lad working in the forge, but no breath-taking woman. He was surprised to find customers already crowding the store that early in the morning, but the man in charge, Ivan—he said his name was—had helped him get on his way after tending to a few customers.
The only testimony of last night\'s storm was the muddy ground. So muddy that Nathaniel would need another bath when he got back to the palace. And his borrowed clothes would have to be washed as well before he could return them. If he could ever remember the way. A small boy led Nathaniel on his horse through numerous, unrecognizable alley-ways and streets before Nathaniel saw something of Corus that he recognized. Truly, he had never traversed this part of the city before today. If it weren’t for the boy, he would surely get lost, and then be in even more trouble when he arrived at the palace.
The palace!
He was supposed to have been back at the palace two days ago! But he had gotten waylaid by roadway bandits, and then last night he was sheltered in the armoury near the gate, but there was no way that he could possibly find his way back there.
The armoury. Owl’s Armoury, he remembered it to be called. But who was the master there? Surely not the woman. Who ever heard of a female blacksmith? But then again, Aunt Alanna and Aunt Kel were lady knights, and there were more female pages and squires in training because of their success. It wouldn’t be all that unlikely for the woman to at least be the owner of the store, if not the blacksmith herself.
Why would she not give me her name, even though I tried to reveal my own identity first. And I swore by the gods that I meant her no harm. Even then, she wouldn’t give me her name. She doesn’t seem to trust easily. And yet, she helped me. She took me in and sheltered me during the storm. Mithros! She even fed and clothed me!
Why did she not trust me then? Perhaps she had a few bad experiences with nobles before; but maybe she just didn’t meet the right nobles. I could fix that, he thought, But I don’t know when I’ll be able to leave the palace again, what with my doubtless punishment to come. “Excuse me, boy. But could we go any faster? You see I’m late, and I don’t want to get in too much trouble with my master.”
Nathaniel was a young man of nineteen, with black hair like his mother’s, but wavy like his father’s. He also had the blue eyes, broad back and shoulders, height, and command of his father. But his temperament was more like that of his mother’s. As he rode his horse towards the center of Corus, and then on towards the palace gates, the crowd silently moved aside. Nathaniel may not be a crown prince, but his father was very high up in the ranks, and all the common people knew a noble in a hurry when they saw one.
Nonetheless, Nathaniel galloped the long ride up the hill to the palace with a storm over his head, despite the clear skies. What kind of punishment would he receive this time? Last time, he wasn’t allowed to leave the palace for over a month. Maybe, if he explained his case well enough, or got someone else to, he’d get a lesser punishment. But how was he to explain his case without appearing rude? Or insane! Perhaps his knight master, Sir Merric of Hollyrose would come to his aid—if only he could speak to him before Sir Wallace found out.
Nathaniel’s plans came crashing down around his ears when he walked through the palace gates. There he saw Sir Merric, Sir Owen, Sir Alanna, and Sir Wallace, preparing to ride out the gates at a charge. To find him.
“Squire Golden Lake!” Sir Wallace yelled. “Where in the nine hells have you been?”
Here comes the tirade for about an hour, Nathaniel thought, and then the punishment: no trips to the market. Which means no chance to find out more about the woman. Gods! Why wouldn’t she tell me her name!

You were waylaid by bandits? How long ago? You were expected to return a week ago. How do you expect us to believe your story when you look fit as a fiddle!” Sir Wallace was furious. They had been talking for over an hour already. And still no headway. Nathaniel had been waylaid by bandits somewhere off the Great Road from Port Legayn and Corus, but he could not for the life of him remember how long ago that was. He was sure that he was only a few days late, not a whole week! That wound in his side must have been worse than he thought, if he had lost track of that much time! But, how then, was the woman able to heal him so well? Was she a hedgewitch as well as weaponry-store owner? No. Impossible.
“Nathaniel?”
No answer.
Nathaniel had completely forgotten where he was. His mind had gone back to last night. The woman was leaning over him, stitching up his middle. She had beautiful eyes. Deep, dark blue and green eyes that danced their way into his soul. Her lips were red and full, almost pouting for a kiss. Her nose was small and delicate, but her chin was stubborn. That was alright—Nathaniel liked that in girls. Her hair was dark brown, and soft. He had felt it when it fell out of its braid to brush his cheek while she was stitching, And he felt it again when she had ordered him to rest his arm on her small head while she wrapped cloth around him. Her arms were so slender; her hands gentle, but strong. She was like the woman Nathaniel only heard of in dreams or fairy tales! She was—
“Nathaniel!” He was jerked back into reality. “Where is your head, boy? Have you been day-dreaming all this time? Now tell us just where you have been and what you have been doing that made you a week late?”
“This is serious, Nathaniel. You could lose your place as my squire and go back to being a page if you went gallivanting off on your own while on a mission for the crown.” Sir Merric’s eyes were serious. Nathaniel was still trying to reorient himself in the present. The woman kept intruding upon his thoughts. His eyes glazed over again.
“Nathaniel? Are you alright?” Sir Merric was worried now. This was not like him.
There was a knock at the door.
“Yes? Who is it?” Sir Wallace asked. A middle-aged man entered Sir Wallace’s study. He had green eyes and brown finger-combed wavy hair. He was tall, but not as tall as the Giantkiller, Nathaniel’s father. But he was strong in the Gift, a magnificent healer, and one to be reckoned with.
“Excuse me, but I think I should take a look at him.” Sir Nealan of Queenscove didn’t wait for an invitation to come in. He just did.
“Neal! What’s the meaning of this?”
“That’s exactly my question. What do you think you are doing, interrupting us? This is not time for one of your childish jokes.” Sir Wallace was getting more furious by the second.
“Hmm? Oh, sorry. What is he in trouble for?” Sir Neal asked absently checking Nathaniel’s temperature by feeling Nathaniel’s forehead.
“He was due back here at the palace from his courier mission over a week ago! He claims to have been waylaid by bandits, but that is impossible, since he seems to be in perfect health.”
“So you right away suggest lying? Did the thought never occur to you that he could have found a healer or hedge witch along the way and rested up there before continuing on?” Neal’s eyes were innocent, but piercing. Sir Wallace was not nearly as frightening as Sir Wyldon. But that had not stopped Neal from standing up to Sir Wyldon before as a page—and getting stable duty for it.
Sir Wallace stopped and took a deep breath to clear his thoughts. He clasped his hands behind his back and stared up at the ceiling. At last he spoke. “Forgive me, Nathaniel. I spoke in haste. Now, if you please, tell us if you stopped to see a healer on your way home.”
“I—uh. I didn’t stop to see a healer. I didn’t have time. I tried to get back as quickly as possible.” He seemed to be coming back to his senses. “But I arrived in town just last night! I swear it!”
“Where did you stay?” Sir Merric asked.
“At an—.” He stopped. Would they really believe him if he said he stayed at an armoury?
“Where?” Sir Neal persisted. “This is very important, if you still want to keep your position as Sir Merric’s squire.”
“It was late. I didn’t know what store I had walked into. But—.”
“Yes? Go on.” Sir Neal’s eyes were on fire!
“It was an—armoury,” he stammered. “And there was a woman—.”
“A woman!” Sir Merric and Sir Wallace yelled at the same time.
“You stayed one more night to bed some strange woman in an armoury!” Sir Wallace yelled.
“No! I didn’t say that! There was a storm, my mare was hurt, and I was tired and sick. She took me in, fed me, put me up for the night, and even lent me clothes because mine were torn and bloodied. I’d never do such a thing to a woman.” Nathaniel defended himself, rising from his chair.
“Sit down, boy. I believe you, even if these fools don’t,” Sir Neal said, pushing the lad gently back into his chair. “It was a tall woman, wasn’t she? Dark brown hair, blue-green eyes?” He was starting to smile.
“Yes. Yes! Do you know her?” Nathaniel was getting excited. Maybe Sir Nealan knew the woman’s name!
“If it’s who I think she is, then yes. But there is just one more thing to verify it: how beautiful was she?” Sir Neal’s eyes were glittering with mischief. Sir Merric was beginning to understand what Neal was saying, too.
Nathaniel hesitated. “She was more beautiful than anyone I’d ever met before. I’ve never known beauty before I met her,” he breathed at last.
Sir Nealan and Sir Merric burst out laughing. Sirs Merric and Wallace simply stared open-mouthed at him. Nathaniel was puzzled by Sir Nealan’s outburst of laughter. Oh my, yes. I know her. Her name, her family, her up-bringing, everything! But I’m not telling you. If she didn’t give you her name herself, it’d be rude of me to disregard her wishes.”
“You don’t think that it could be—her? Do you, Neal?”
Sir Neal finally caught his breath. “Without a doubt, it’s her!” He wiped tears from his eyes.
“Gods! I haven’t seen her in years,” Sir Merric breathed.
“What in the world are you two talking about!” Sir Wallace demanded to know.
That’s what I’d like to know, Nathaniel thought. How do Sirs Merric and Nealan know the woman? She said the store was new.
“It’s a long story, Sir Wallace, but don’t worry. Nathaniel here is telling the truth, assuredly—without a doubt.”
“I can’t believe that she’s actually here! I thought she was in Scanra with her mother?” Sir Merric exclaimed.
“Well, she’s here now. And it is her! If she hadn’t shielded herself, I’d have found her earlier. But I guess this is the first time that she’s used it, or she let herself slip.”
“I’d still like to know what you two are so excited about,” Sir Wallace was almost pouting with annoyance.
“It’s quite alright, Sir Wallace. We’ll tell you all about it. Some other time. It’s a very funny story, but known to only a select few. You almost had to have been there at their birth. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Just trust me for now that the boy is telling the truth. There is no reason to demote him. I still would like to examine him though—to make sure that there is no infection.”
“Infection? Where?” He opened his mouth to reply, but Sir Wallace held up his hand instead. “No. Nevermind. On second thought I don’t want to know. I think it will just make me more confused. Do as you will. If you say that he’s telling the truth, and you know the woman that he is referring to, then I’ll believe you.”
“Alright then. You hear that, boy? You’re off the hook! It’s not your fault at all that you’re over a week late, and you fell head over heels in love with a beautiful woman that you\'ve never seen before. But the storm was two nights ago, not last night. You must have slept in that armoury straight through that night, the next day, and last night as well! She must have given you some powerful medicine. And you must have been very near death for her to have taken you in and given you such a strong dosage.”
Nathaniel’s eyes grew wide. He had no idea! That woman had saved his life? But how? He wasn’t delirious or anything! But then again... He didn’t remember much from that night. Only the sword that he wielded in there, and her beautiful eyes.
“Well, come along my boy. Let’s get you to my quarters, where I’ll take a look at you, see if there’s anything left to be healed, and then send you on your way.”
It was strange. Nathaniel had known these two knights practically all of his life, and he had never once heard them talk of her before. Sir Neal was a something of a legend. The only squire that Aunt Alanna had ever taken on, he was very prestigious amongst the mages. And he had disobeyed orders and gone with Aunt Kel into Scanra to kill the mage who had been making the Killing Machines. Sir Merric wanted to go as well, but he had been too injured in the initial attack. Still, as one of Aunt Kel’s friends and comrades-in-arms, he had a little bit of fame as well.
But how had Nathaniel missed this? They knew the woman that was now filling his mind, and yet he had never heard them speak of her?
“Why won’t you tell me her name, Sir Nealan?” Nathaniel asked as they started down the hall.
“She refused to give you her name?” Sir Nealan turned to face him.
“Not in so many words,” he evaded
“Hmm. I wonder what happened to her in Scanra,” he mused.
“Shh! He’s not supposed to know about that, Neal. No one is.”
“Hm? Oh! Right. Come on my boy. And you’ll never get her name from me. It’d be healthier for you, actually, to forget everything about her.” He paused, looked at him carefully, then said, “But I don’t think you ever will.” He laughed. “You’ve fallen under her spell. Along with every other man who has ever laid eyes on her! Now you’ll never be able to concentrate on being Sir Merric’s squire.” They continued on down the hall towards Sir Nealan’s room in silence.

Something old. Aka: Trent

2009-04-16T15:07:00.000-05:00

Prologue

I don’t want to be a knight! Why can’t we just let Domi go?” It was late at night, and the young girl had a bad temper. It was the evening of her 7th birthday, and she did not enjoy the latest news from her parents.
“Why don’t you want to go to the palace, Trin? I thought you wanted to follow your mother’s footsteps,” her father asked. He had dark brown hair, and blue eyes. A retired sergeant from the Second Company of the King’s Own, he was a large man, with a body of finely toned muscles. His name was Domitan of Masbole and Protector’s Hill, a title gained from his marriage.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love Mother and I love the changes that have come about because of her knighthood, but—. It’s not what I want to do.”
“Then what do you want to do, Sweetie?” Domitan’s wife was a tall woman, well-muscled, but beautiful. She had mid-length plain brown hair, and brilliant green eyes. She was the Protector of the Small, Lady Knight Keladry of Masbole and Protector’s Hill.
“I—I want to be a blacksmith.”
“A blacksmith!”

Chapter One

It was cold and raining. Trinity hated the rain; it made her work harder. It was only after her work was finished that she welcomed the cold, but while she labored she’d prefer to have her furnace as hot as possible in order to maximize the speed and quality of her craftsmanship—especially when she was making swords.
She was a young lass of almost nineteen years. But she looked to be twenty-one. Trinity was almost six feet tall, her shoulders broad and, her slender arms hid hard muscles, toned from working all day in the forge. She had dark brown hair braided to below her waist, tanned skin, and her eyes were deep pools of blue and green. A heart-stopping-beauty, and born to Keladry of Mindelan and to Domitan of Masbole during the Scanran War, somewhat illegitimately. Her parents were married secretly a month after the War, so it didn’t matter all that much. Most people didn’t even know that Trinity—or her three identical sisters—even existed. Trinity was the youngest of a set of quads, identical from birth, and blessed with the Gift—and a little extra something. Somehow, the four girls were able to utilize their Gift and yet hide it from other Gift wielders. Because of such an advantage, they used their masked-Gift to alter their appearance without being detected. Trinity\'s sisters, Dree, Hope, and Haven, played a diabolical joke on Trinity, making her the prettiest of them all. But Trinity had no intentions of ever catching a man.
Presently, Trinity was living under the façade of a common blacksmith in the city of Corus. But no one knew her by that name in Corus. They all called her Trent Masdlan—a name taken from a combination of both her parents’ former titles before they wed. After three months already, no one, not even the nobles who raised her, knew that she was there.
Before Corus, Trent lived in Scanra for the last thirteen years . Ten of these years were spent learning to be a blacksmith. Upon Trent’s arrival and her family’s introduction to the Court of Scanra, no one had taken any mind to her and her sisters, so Trent spent most of her time alone with her sisters Dree and Hope, both of which would be leaving in five years for the university and the convent. Their eldest sister Haven had left to join the Shang Warriors just before they left for Scanra. Trent was the only one left who didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life.
But then, one fateful, rainy day, before her 7th birthday, she, her sisters, and their maid took shelter in a smithy while they waited for the ongoing storm to abate. To many people in town it was simply the warmest place during the rains, but to Trent, it was a new world. On that very day, she fell in love with the smithy, the blacksmith’s work, and weapons. Trent knew she was born for the forge. She finally knew what she wanted. And lucky for her, her parents understood! The the day after their birthday, her parents took Trent\\ back to the smithy and asked the master there to take Trent on as an apprentice. The smith complied and signed a contract.
By this time, Trent had already spent two years immersed in the Scanran Court. She knew what the weakness was of every man there: pretty eyes. Trent had dazzling blue-green eyes and was therefore preyed upon by all the men there since the day she turned eleven and her badges started bulging. They trapped her in dark rooms, cornered her in empty hallways; anything to get where they could be alone and have their way with her. She was not interested in boys, lovers, or sweethearts, and now Trent hated noblemen with a vengeance. She had no respect for any of them at all, and distrusted them more than anyone else. It was lucky for her, though, that her master got wind of her mistreatment right away. He came to her rescue more than once during those few months of her living hell.
His name was Ivan von Dreggor. He was gray haired and scarred—scars gained at the forge or in a fight. Not only did Ivan make the best swords, axes, arrows, maces in all of Scanra, he was an expert in using them. But he did not fight in the Scanran War like the other skilled men. It wasn’t as if Ivan hated violence—he just hated the warlord. When the first signs of the War broke out, Ivan fled to the mountains and he continued his trade there. There were not many buyers, of course, but Ivan was able to perfect his skill, both as a blacksmith and as a fighter. As soon as the War ended, he returned to civilization and started up his shop again. He had lived quite prosperously for three years until Trent first walked into his forge and changed his life forever.
After a few months of trying to protect Trent, and not always succeeding for lack of proximity, Ivan requested of her parents that she come and live with him in the forge. He assured them that he meant no harm to her, and was only concerned for her well-being. He couldn’t protect her very easily while she lived in the palace and he in the town. The nobles wouldn’t dream of going into a smith’s shop and taking advantage of the apprentice while she lived under his roof.
Thus, Trent came to live with Ivan, and the two became ‘thick as thieves.’ It was shaky at first. Ivan knew next to nothing about girls, and here was this seven year old who was already more beautiful than any creature he had set eyes on—and she wanted to be a blacksmith! Who had put that idea into her head? Might as well try to be a lady knight! After they got to know one another, everything went smoothly. Ivan looked after her, taught her the trade, and also taught her how to fight with everything he had her make. Trent loved it.
The noblemen who preyed upon her before feebly attempted to get alone with Trent again, but were thwarted by Ivan and his swordsmanship easily. They soon gave up. The smithy had become a refuge for Trent, and her master became a well of wisdom and knowledge about the world. He taught her everything he knew, and treated her as his niece that he had lost before the War.
As to training her as a blacksmith, Ivan was at first surprised by Trent. He wasn’t sure at the onset whether she was determined or not, but it was only a week before he knew the truth. Trent was persistent, and she would not slow down or give up just because the task was hard. She was not a spoiled little girl like the other nobles’ daughters. She learned quickly, listened well, and was wiser than she appeared. He taught her everything he knew about the smithy, and how to use everything she would make: from everyday nails to majestic sabers.
Not only did Trent receive blacksmithing lessons from Ivan, she also had lessons from her parents whenever she visited—which was once a week. Her lessons were of jousting, fencing, hand-to-hand fighting, knife fighting and throwing, archery, diplomacy, leadership, and delegation. Everything a knight would need to know, and more. That was probably part of the reason why Trent never changed her mind about being a knight. She was already learning in Scanra everything her brother Domi was learning at ‘knight-school’ in Corus! Who needed an Ordeal to protect people? Let Domi go through all that. Now Trent could defend herself, or someone else, the next time some noble tried to get friendly.
After ten years as an apprentice in Scanra, Trent was finally a journey woman-blacksmith. A month after receiving her certification, Trent had decided to go back to Tortall. Two of her sisters, Dree and Haven, were there already. Corus was the best place to see them again. Besides, it would provide her a base of operations, a home, and old friends of her parents who still lived there. After only three months’ business, her place was already very popular with the commoners. The nobility would have been interested too, if they ever walked farther than Raven’s Armoury, which was down the hill and around the corner from the palace. Most nobles were not like her parents, though, and would have up-turned noses at Trent’s place because it was not Raven’s. Trent preferred it that way. She didn’t charge as much as Raven’s, even though the quality of her work was as good as Raven\'s, and it was easy to find for commoners and travelers. She still disliked nobles, of any country, and any court.
On this particular rainy day, however, a traveler wandered in to Trent’s armoury. His clothes were muddy and tattered, he held his horse’s reins in his hand, and the horse’s saddle was as muddy as he was, with the packs close to empty. He had been on the road for a while. His rations were dangerously low. His eyes were tired and delirious, his lips slack, and his face ashen. Truth be told the young traveler was dying on his feet.
“Hello?” the traveler called. He walked inside and stared with bleary eyes at the walls. There were swords everywhere! Broad swords, short swords, fencing swords, long swords—he had never seen so many in one shop before!—All good enough quality to rival Raven’s Armoury even! If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that he was in Raven’s Armoury, except that he knew what Raven’s interior looked like, and this was not it. Yes, the walls were covered with weapons, there were glass-covered tables with more equipment on display, and towards the back of the room where the money was transacted, and another door leading to another room, but there was one corner that looked like a family room! There was a fire place, with chairs and a couch in a semi-circle with a small table in the middle. This place must get a lot of business for there to be a waiting area, the traveler thought.
He shook his head to clear his mind, and continued to study the weapons on the walls. There were more than just swords. There were axes, for battle and everyday-use, knives, daggers, riding gloves, gauntlets, arm guards, and bows and arrows even! The traveler was amazed to find such a place on the outskirts of Corus. He must be dreaming.
He was startled from his inspection of a particularly grand sword when a woman walked out of the back room, wiping her hands on a leather work-apron. He clumsily jumped back from the wall and began to explain why a stranger was now standing in her living room/shop.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, but it’s cold and wet outside, and the door was open,” he explained in slurred speech. “Is your father at home? Or perhaps your brother?”
“I live here alone. I’m sorry, but the store is closed for the day. And you can let yourself out the same way you let yourself in.” She answered firmly, thinking he was another woman-predator, and trying to get him out.
“I assure you, I mean you no harm or disrespect. All I need is information: Do you know where I might find the nearest inn?” He considered just renting a room from the tenant, but seeing that the woman lived there alone, his staying the night would surely ruin her reputation, whatever it was.
The woman merely stared at him. He claims to only want information, but with all that blood on his tunic, he\'s lying. He\'s--
He interrupted her thoughts. “Begging your pardon, Miss—and I don’t mean to offend—but are you sure that it’s quite safe for you to be living here alone? This is the outskirts of Corus.” There was concern in his voice, and respect. The woman chuckled to herself, smiling a little. A noble. I should have guessed. No one else would put on such a show of concern for an apparently common and defenseless woman. Perhaps not a predator, but still, I must be careful.
“I can take care of myself, thank you,” she finally answered. “Much better than you can, from what I can see.” She smiled even more, trying to alleviate the pressure and calm him down some by pointing out the joke.
He accepted her teasing. He couldn’t not. Her voice was sweet to the ear, honeyed, seductive, but it didn’t appear that she was trying to seduce him. She was just standing there, looking him full in the face, and smiling as if the sun came from her eyes.
She was looking him full in the face, but she was also scrutinizing him. She looked him over, taking in every tear in his clothes, every mud stain, every twig, and every drop and smear of blood. Definitely not a predator; he was more like a wounded puppy than a hungry wolf. His face was pale, almost feverish. He was also sick with pneumonia.
“It’s raining outside, you’d best come in and warm yourself,” she gave in. “This storm won’t pass soon. I’ll start the fire and you can drape your cloak near it to dry. And please sit down while I get you something hot to drink, and tend to your horse.”
“Thank you. But that’s alright, there’s no need for you to trouble yourself over me. I’ll just go find an inn somewhere. Where did you say it was?” he said, already backing to the door.
“No, you won’t,” she said, starting up a fire. “You’ll stop right there, take off your coat, sit down, and wait here until I come back.” Her tone was one that tolerated no nonsense; the traveler, startled at her peremptory order, complied with her wishes. She disappeared into the back room, and returned shortly with the promised drink.
“Here. Drink this slowly—it’s hot. We wouldn’t want the little lordling to burn his tongue.” She started towards the front door—to fetch his horse to the stables out back, most likely.
“How did you know I was a noble?” the traveling noble asked, after choking on the strangely numbing, yet delicious, hot herbal tea. Perhaps there was peppermint in it. “I gave you no name; there is no insignia on my clothing, and I’m so travel-stained that even if I was wearing my house’s colors, you wouldn’t be able to tell through the mud.” He seemed to be thinking a little more clearly now. Perhaps it was the tea.
The woman was halfway out the door when she looked over her shoulder at him and answered. “Nobles have a way of carrying themselves, and of treating others. Some try to never give offense, while some go out of their way to give it. You’re one of the former. The words ‘rich, high-class noble’ are written all over your face, despite the mud and grit. Other than that, it’s the way you walk—and talk. With your nose up in the air, as if everyone below it doesn’t exist.” She faced forward again and continued on her way outside to tend to the lordling’s mount, leaving him in confusion.
It was a magnificent creature. A spirited painted mare, white mane and tail, beautiful red and white coat with white legs. The woman whispered compliments to the pinto as she walked it through the rain to her stables behind the forge. It was a small but well equipped stables, with only five stalls and two horses. It occasionally held more when there were customers from out of town, like tonight. The woman unsaddled and unbridled the mare, then picked up some straw and rubbed her down while she ate from the feeding trough that was there. That done, she led the mare into one of the stalls with extra hay, and inspected her hooves.
She had noticed a slight limp when walking the horse to the stables around back, and her worries were confirmed. The mare had sprained her left foreleg, and wouldn’t be up for any hard riding for at least a month. Unless she had anything to do about it.
After tending to the horse, and checking on her own two beauties—a large gelding and a dainty mare—the woman returned back to the store. The traveler had finished his tea and was studying the walls again. She went behind the desk at the back of the room and pulled out a knife and a polishing cloth. Neither spoke for a time; each were content to simply listen to the traveler\'s soft footfalls, and the woman\'s cloth running over silver metal. The man did not just study the wall, however. He studied her as well. She looked intent on her work—surprising that a common woman would find such joy in weapons cleaning. Or is she just trying to concentrate on her work so that I will ignore her? I must set her mind at ease.
“I’m sorry, but I think you’re misjudging me,” he said suddenly, completely dropping his perusal of the walls. Obviously he hadn\'t forgotten what she said before she tended to his mount. When she didn’t reply, or even look up from the knife that she was polishing, he walked closer and continued. “You don’t even know my name, my family, or where I’m from. Why do you expect me to be like everyone else?”
“Because every noble that I’ve met has been the same: stuck-up, stupid, proud, and a greedy predator,” she claimed before he could take a breath. “Why do you think I work in a shop that most nobles have never even heard of, much less entered?”
“Forgive me again, but not all nobles are the same. You said so yourself, there’s more than one kind. Yes, there are many who are idiots, but I am not one. My father is—.”
“I don’t need to know who your father is, or your mother,” she cut him off. “They’re nobles, and that’s all that matters. You do have a very fine animal, though.”
“Thank you. He was a gift from a very close friend of my father’s.” He paused. “You’re very prejudiced, did you know that?”
“Yes, my parents used to tell me that all the time.” Neither spoke. The woman’s tone of voice had hinted that they had come to a delicate or painful subject for her, and dropped the matter. He returned to perusing the walls, shelves, and tables.
He was amazed at their quality. Once he got a closer look at the merchandise, he admitted that their quality was better than that of Raven’s Armoury. At least they looked better.
“Excuse me, may I handle one of these swords?” he asked, his hands hovering over a particularly magnificent sword. “I’d just like to get the feel of one of them.”
A light had come into the woman’s eyes. Something about this shop excited her. “Of course,” she said. The man could hear her struggling to control her excitement. “Pick any one you like. Lift it, swing it around, do a few practice-steps. See how she handles, and tell me if she’s better than Raven’s.”
He could see that her eyes were intense, but she never looked up from her work. Not that he could tell. Again, he was surprised at her passion for weapons. He lifted the sword off of its hooks on the wall. It felt wonderful in his hands. Like it was made for him. He slid into defense, holding his sword low, with the tip just above his head. It felt so right! He moved to block an imaginary over-head attack, letting the invisible sword slide off the one in his hands. Quickly, he lunged at his invisible opponent, piercing his gut. Tearing the sword out, he turned to slash an on-coming opponent from the right. Cut in two! On to the next victim.
Trent watched from beneath her long eyelashes as she continued to polish the knife in her hands. He was magnificent! A squire at least! He had lifted the sword with experienced hands, run his fingers along its length with longing. His stance was perfect! He swung the sword with perfection, aim, and precision—as if he was fighting an opponent in real battle! He—
“Are you alright?” Trent leapt up from her seat, dropping knife and cloth in a clatter to the desk, forgotten, and ran around the desk to his side. He was in the middle of another lunge when his knees had given way and he collapsed.
“I’m fine. Just a little winded.” He tried to brush her off, but she persisted. Trent felt his brow, and drew it back with a hiss. Idiot! You saw earlier that he was sick, but you let your anger cloud your mind! Why didn’t you treat him right away? He’s almost dead now!
“You’re running a fever,” Trent said calmly so as not to alarm him. She put her hand under his shirt of his bloodier side, where it looked like he had tried to clean it out and failed. She felt something warm and wet start to leak from his side. She pressed a little to try to stop the small flow. He gasped and pressed his hand on top of hers. She hesitated, welcoming the warmth from his hands, but then pulled her hand out from under his. “And you’re bleeding. Lie back down.” After he had, she tore open his shirt to reveal the ugly gash in his side. It looked like he had tried to cauterize it with a hot knife. Badly. And it smelt of cheap wine or brandy. He must have stopped at an inn or a pub to buy some spirits and just splashed it on his side. It needed to be washed better before she could properly tend it. Well, he needed a bath anyway. It\'d be easier for him to wash, then for her to clean his side.
“Come with me,” she started to haul him back to his feet.
“The sword—.” He started to say. “I need to put it away.” He still held it in his hand. A warrior, Trent thought. Maybe he’s not like every other noble. Still, he’s just as stubbornly stupid!
“Leave her, lordling. She won’t run away, or have her feelings hurt if you put her down. Just let go.” She tried to pry his hand from the sword.
“You sound like my mother, or my Aunt Alanna,” the man chuckled weakly.
“Good. That means you’ll do exactly as I say, won’t you.” It was not a question. The lordling looked up into her serious, bright blue-green eyes. “Now let go.” They were captivating. Just looking into her eyes made him want to do anything that she asked of him. A strange feeling to be having when you’re blood is beginning to spill from your side.
“Yes, ma’am.” He dropped the sword.
“That’s a good little lordling.” She helped him to his feet, draped his arm over her shoulders and supported him with her arm about his waist, pressing his bleeding side, and led him through the back door into the forge. It was still hot inside. But who was the smith? She continued to lead him through the forge, past a small kitchen, to a flight of stairs. They took those twenty steps slowly and carefully. The man was practically dead on his feet! On the second floor was a hallway with doors on either side. She took him to the second door on the right, which was right above the shop. Inside was a large copper tub, with soap and shampoo on a stool beside. “Can you stand on your own?” He nodded. “Good, strip, and get in the tub. I’ll be back with towels and lots of water. Then I want you to wash, and be careful of your side. Understand?”
“Yes, mother.”
“That’s a good, little lordling,” she said again, almost fondly.

An hour later, the man limped out of the bath room feeling refreshed, but still weak. After filling the copper tub in the back room with hot water, she had left him to wash. But before he finished, she returned one last time to place a set of clothes on the stool for him. When he came out into the store, he found a platter of food and another hot drink n the table in the far corner with the fire place. But the woman was nowhere in sight.
The man sat down beside the table and ate voraciously. It seemed like he had never tasted food so delicious before in all his life! By the time he was half-way through his meal, a dark, cloaked figure entered through the front doors. He half stood up, ready to fight the intruder. But there was no need. It was the woman! Why had she gone out at this time of night, and in this storm?
“Good, you’ve almost finished eating. As soon as you’re done, I’ll stitch up your side properly,” she said as she removed her cloak and hung it by the door to drip-dry. She was carrying a small fishnet basket. She placed it on her desk, then went through the forge to the kitchen and returned with a mug of her own.
“How are you feeling?” She leaned forward and felt his forehead. It was still warm. Or maybe her hand was still cold from being outside in the rain. No, she had been holding a hot mug of cider. He still had a moderately high fever. “Hmm. You’re Just a little bit warm, now,” she lied. “And this storm is only getting worse. You’ll sleep here tonight after I dress your wound. Are you finished yet?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the man said, wiping his mouth. He had gone back to eating as soon as he had seen that it was her coming in. “Wait,” he said, suddenly remembering. “My horse was hurt in coming here. Something with her left or right front hoof. Do you know any doctor who—?”
“Your mare is fine. I saw to her while you were bathing and eating. I rubbed her down, treated her leg, and fed her. She’ll definitely last the night. Which is less than I can say for you, if you don’t take off that shirt and lie down on that mat over there. I still need to see to your wound.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He quietly got up and walked to the mat he had not seen when he first came in, blood- and mud-stained and weary. He removed his borrowed shirt as he walked, and lay down on the mat. Meanwhile, Trent walked over to her desk and opened the bottom drawer. Inside was a white box that was spelled for cleanliness and healing; she took it out and closed the drawer and locked it. Then she grabbed the fishnet bag off her desk. It had herbs and potions for healing as well. She brought it over to where the man was lying down, taking out needles, thread, cotton swabs, cleaning ointments, and a very small, unlabeled packet that contained an unknown powder. She set it all down on the ground beside the man and next fetched her own mug from the desk. She took one last long drink, then poured the contents of the small packet into the still-hot liquid. She swirled it around, then proffered it to the man. He looked at her questioningly, but drank it after being assured that it would help. Immediately, he felt as he had when he first entered the store: dizzy, out of sorts, and incoherent. “Wha—What was that?”
“Just something to numb you for a while. I have to re-open your wound—to clean it properly. Then I’ll stitch you back up. You won’t fall asleep, but you won’t feel any pain this way. So just relax.” She paused. “It helps if you fix your mind on something. Something that you can see usually works better than something in your mind, so take your pick.”
“Very well.” The man started to search the room with his eyes, but stopped, looking at the woman. “You have—beautiful eyes.” He said suddenly.
Trent gave him a small smile, and almost blushed. “Just focus on my eyes then. And you’ll be fine, my little lordling.”
Thirty minutes and many stitches later, Trent leaned back from the traveling noble, scrutinizing her work. It was a little bit last-minute quality, but it would do until he saw a proper healer at the palace. That is, if he would still need one then. He should be fine by morning. The fever should be gone, his color back, and his side half-healed at least. And the thread that she used to stitch him up should be ready to come out. “Can you sit up? I just need to wrap your middle to keep the bandage in place.”
The traveling noble sat up, and lifted his arms so Trent wouldn’t have to worry about tangling the cloth in his arms. His abdominals were solid muscles. His chest wasn’t much different. The only nobles that Trent had known to be this well-built were the ones that tried to bed her. “Ju—just rest your arm on my head. It won’t bother me, and it will ease your side.” His arms were strong too. This man looked heart-stopping without a shirt on. “How are you feeling?” she asked, trying to get her mind back to her work.
“I think whatever you put in that drink is still affecting me. I still don’t feel any pain, but I know I should. I’ve had stitches before, and honestly I lost count around fifteen or twenty. But the room is clearing up now—no more fuzzy.”
“That’s good. It will last for about five more minutes now. And when your feeling comes back, you’ll feel most of the pain from the re-opening and stitching. But only about half. That will still be a lot, though. Probably worse than when the sword actually sliced into you. So you better rest your arm on my head like I told you to, instead of stretching your already torn muscles.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The traveling noble rested his arm on Trent’s head as she finished wrapping his middle. She tied it off with a strong knot, and gently removed his arm. “I’ll get you some more tea for the pain. And this time it will help you sleep as well.” She hesitated. “You can put your shirt back on, if you’d like. I’ll set up a cot for you in one of the rooms upstairs. I won’t be far if you wake up in the middle of the night and it hurts, so you can just call me, and I’ll come.”
She started to stand up but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. “Wait,” he said. “You never told me your name.”
“And I never will.” With that, Trent got up and went about her work while the man put his borrowed shirt back on.

Home.. or lack thereof...

2009-03-24T23:48:00.000-05:00

Home... It’s such a commonly used word. I wonder how many people realize that some people don’t have homes. The ones you would least expect to be homeless are in fact just that: homeless. I am one such person. I have no home. Homes are where you find compassion, unconditional love and acceptance, comfort, and security. The only place I can find those things is in the arms of my family, but that is a rare thing now that we are literally scattered all over the globe. My idea of a home, a physical place that I could always fall back on and know full well that I would be safe there and that I would have nothing to fear, shattered when I was nine.
My dad told us that we would be moving after this next furlough, and I burst into tears. I had moved before from Malaybalay to the States and back, but this time we would not return to Mindanao even. I was crushed. My eyes started filling and overflowing with tears until even my shirt collar was soaked. “Not come back home? Where will we go then?” I asked. “To Tacloban, Mel, on the island of Leyte,” my dad said. I had never heard of that place before, but even if I had, it might as well of been Jupiter or Neptune.
Ever since that day I have not had a home. I tried to explain my lack of home as being more like a movable home… Like one I carried around in a pocket or in a bag. I kept mine in my room. Wherever I went when I didn’t want to be around people was my home. Usually, it was my bedroom with all my books, teddy bears, and pillows were. It was my refuge, my sanctuary. I could be completely alone in my room and be content, because I was home. It held comfort for me.
In high school, my home was my dorm room, not the actual dorm. The rest of the dorm might as well as not existed – it meant that little to me and held that little comfort. When I went “home” for break, it was almost home. Most of my things were in my dorm room, so my room at my parent’s house was rather bare. But my family was there, with their open arms of love and kind words and compassion. That more than made up for any of my belongings that I had used for comfort.
As I reflect, I realize that my belongings only made my room my “home” because my belongings brought with them memories of my family and the home that I would always have in their arms and hearts.
They say home is where the heart is, but the heart can be in many places. The point of a home is a point to fall back to – a refuge or sanctuary where you can find assurance and love and safety and comfort and acceptance. A home is supposed to be a single place that didn’t move around, but will always be there for you, not move around from place to place.
As a Daughter of the King, I realize that I am a stranger in this world, and that I will never truly feel at home until I am in heaven with my Father. My nine-year-old self could understand what all that means, but as I am right now, eighteen-years-old and having moved back and forth from “home” to “home” for the past 5 years, I cannot wrap my mind around heaven as my true Home. Such a thing does not exist for me. I am a vagabond. I truly desire to have that true Home, and all that it entails, but until that time I am destined, like many others, to roam this earth until I die.

Into the Woods..

2008-10-10T12:04:00.000-05:00

The Christian walk is a journey through the woods. You only have one path. It's not a game path, not very wide or well-known. Yes, it has been traveled many times by many people, and there are markers left for you to follow, but it is narrow. And long--longer than you could ever hope to see. This narrow path is filled with dangers: fallen branches, trees, large boulders, snares, foot-falls, tree roots, acorns, and pebbles. The forest to either side is dense, thick with low hanging branches, thick ropey vines, and impenetrable underbrush. Within this scary forest are many dangers than those that cover the path before you--you just can't see the dangers in the woods. There are creatures that prowl the night and the side of your path, just waiting for you to wander off trail. Lions, and tigers, and bears, (oh my!) are lurking just beyond the shadows, thirsty for your souls. Even if you were able to escape the beasts in the woods, there are still the cliffs to avoid. On either side of the path, in the intense darkness of the woods, are very high cliffs. Falling down one would be certain death, and what's more, you cannot see them until it's too late and you're already falling.

That is the danger that waits for us beyond the borders of this narrow track that we try to follow in our Christian lives. Many times, we wish for a spotlight, gazing ahead, straining to see what awaits for us, what trees to climb over, what obstacles to go around, and if there is anyone ahead that we can follow. But as we gaze ahead, we trip over acorns, and fall flat on our faces. Or we drift, going off the path and into the dangerous abyss where evil lies in wait to take hold of us and sink its venomous teeth into our flesh. Looking ahead and what we cannot see in full detail blinds us to the danger right before us. We do not need a spotlight. We need a flashlight, a miner's hat with the little light on the front.

God's word is a light to our feet and a lamp to our path. Using His word as our guide, we can overcome any obstacle, AS IT COMES TO US, not before. The point of walking this path is not to see what is ahead. It is to walk the path in a way pleasing to God, trusting Him, believing that He will carry us through.

Drowning

2008-09-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

i've fallen in this black pool;
can't touch the bottom.
i'm kicking to re-surface,
trying to calm my racing heart.
i look up to the sky,
but i only see darkness.
there is no surface,
no glimmer of light shining through
the ripples of my struggles.
i'm surrounded.
i'm being closed in on all sides
by darkness.
i can't get out.
this black ink is thick,
like tar,
suffocating me,
dragging me down deeper and deeper.
i need a way out. i need air.
i need a hand to pull me out of this black water.
O God please don't leave me down here alone...
Please provide some light in this black abyss,
pull me up,
or push me down to the bottom,
to the very bottom
so i can push myself up to freedom.

Blessed freedom,
sweet, unclogged, pure air.
I've almost forgotten how it tastes.

Someone please save me from myself!

Sickiness

2008-09-10T00:10:00.000-05:00

It's all Mabee one's fault.. they were sick first, and because they're my brother floor, i hung out with them a lot, and i got the sickness that had gone through their whole hall already..
Being sick at college is not fun.. Mainly because there isn't a mommy around to take care of you, make you chicken soup, get medicine, call your teachers, etc, and all that good-nurse-you-back-to-health stuff.. it's ESPECIALLY hard when your parents live on the other side of the world in Asia.
but oh well.. Life goes on, the homework piles up, and... interestingly enough.. you realize how much people notice you when you're not there in class.. I've lost count of how many people commented on how they missed me in class, or noticed it was quieter, or how it was more boring, or just noticed i wasn't there. it's a bit of a confidence booster actually.. not enough of one that i'll try to get sick more often! but still. it's very nice to know that people you only met about a month ago actually and genuinely care and notice when you're not there or just not feeling well.
So basically, thank you to everyone who noticed i was gone on monday, and thank you to the wonderful and amazing nurse who gave me LOTS of drugs!! :D (i love drugs.. teehee.. and i mean that in the non-druggie sense.. cuz i'm not a druggie. i just take pain meds and cold meds when i need them). and thank you April for sending me to the nurse, to all my floor mates who've been wishing me good health, and praying for me, etc.. and helping me do homework... and to my mommy who kept bugging me and checking up on me.. :) I love you mommy! (if you ever read this...)

This is me

2008-09-03T19:46:00.001-05:00

This is me.
I struggled for about.. five minutes.. trying to decide what 'meaningful and well-developed' subject I could write about. Many ideas bounced around my head, but none of them fit quite right. I could write about coffee, and make it look and sound meaningful, but I've done that already. I could write about my boyfriend, but I talk about him all the time. Also, nothing I could say on here would ever compare with the real thing or with me just talking about him.
But I want the point of my first blog to kind of tell you about me... So here I go, even though I'd rather talk to you in person.
Wow. this is harder than i thought.. Ah forget this! I'm going to write about something I love, and if you think I'm interesting, you can come and talk to me yourself. :p

I have the strange obsession with twilight. :) and no, it's not the book series. I'm talking about the actual time between night and day. You see, I grew up in the Philippines, and what I miss most about being there, is the twilight. Between 5 and 6 pm the sky will transition from robin's egg blue to ebony black. I remember sitting on the second story railing of one of the buildings at my high school, just staring up into the gorgeous many-hued sky.
On the west horizon the sky is the prettiest blue ever, and as the sun proceedes to hide, the sky ranges from blushing pinks and reds to warm lavenders and bright oranges in the middle. A little further on, and the sky blends to dark royal blues, and plum purples. Finally, as your eyes reach the grey mountains, the sky is darkest ebony, and the stars just begin to twinkle in and out of hiding. The clouds in the sky add to the Great Artist's design and float listlessly across the sky.
That is my home... The land I grew up in and the land I love. I do not look like the people there, but I have the same heart and I love and miss the people of the Philippines desperately. Coming to America was not as hard as I thought it would be. I began preparing myself for the transition last summer before my senior year. I kept at it all year long, and lo and behold! Graduation sneaked up behind me, screaming and scaring me out of my wits.
After the first initial scares, things began to settle down and life finally away from my high school turned out to be good, much to my surprise. Basically, I let go of everything I once held dear, and let it all fall away into GOD's Almighty Hands. I refused to hold onto my past, my friends, the mistakes I had made. I let GOD have everything, and was left with HIS blessings, and with joy and peace at knowing GOD was in control. HE provided friends in advance for me, both at college, and at the mission's conference I would attend two and a half weeks after graduation. At the mission's conference, I caught up with a couple old friends who will always be there for me.
That's basically all I can think of sharing right now. There's a lot more to me, and I don't wear masks. Basically, if there's anything you want to know about me, PLEASE feel free to ask. I'm always ready to answer, and I will answer most any question, no matter now personal. I'm of the opinion that we should be spending every minute that we spend with other people being open, honest, and real, asking questions and getting to know each other all the better.