In recent news...

ya.. it's been about two months.. sorry guys. life gets busy

so 6 weeks down, and 5 more to go! Sorry i didn't write a blog post about Canberra or the Outback... even tho going out back to the bush was by far my ALL-TIME FAVOURITE experience so far :) and will probably stay my favourite out of everything.

this past week was... very long.. despite the fact i only had classes 3 days of the week instead of 5... Monday was Australian Labour Day, and b/c OZ only has like 3 public holidays, they make sure that ALL the schools and places get their day off. except I still had rehearsals Xp but it wasn't that bad.. and Tuesday, class in the morning was optional, so, duh, i opted out for some SLEEP instead! it was great :) Wednesday was actually a not so fun day.. or it wasn't in the morning.. so in the afternoon i got together with my friend Andrew (yes, another one) and we just talked and hung out for about 3 hours. it was great :) we got coffee (or I got coffee, since he doens't like it), ice cream, and lemon lime and bitters. ^_^ MMmmmmm.. yummy.

THURSDAY.. was an exciting adventure. it was the day of my MUSIC SHOWCASE! :D my first concert since HIGH SCHOOL... ya.. it's been a while, i know haha.. got to uni around 11:20, and sound checks were at 11:45. highlights were at 12:45, and the Showcase was at 7pm. we all THOUGHT we were just in the showcase, but no.. turns out we're in the Highlights as well! SO.. guess who had to scramble to get in her costume/performance outfit and doll up super fast before soundchecks... ya.. needless to say, i was quite frazzled.. but the feeling was.. idk.. it was like an old friend who i hadn't seen in YEARS. i'd missed the feeling of exhileration and the adrenaline of getting ready to put on a show... ^o^ both shows went VERY well. and i had SO much fun in it all.. i just wish there was more :( ah well.. we still have more songs to work on in the class.. and we may have another chance for performing, but no idea for sure.
IN CONCLUSION: i'm considering joining the LETU choir when i get back. it may not be the best (or even close to good sometimes), but i want to encourage fine arts at letu (plus i have that dream of starting a fine arts program at letu) so i think it would be good. Plus, it's probably the easiest/quickest way for me to be able to schedule in some time for singing throughout my week.

Friday was uneventful, as was Saturday.. sorry folks.. it may be Australia, but i don't lead that exciting of a life here Xp i'm discovering that i waste too much of my time online xp.. need to fix that.

TODAY, however.. (Sunday) was a HUGE pain in the rear... tomorrow (monday) my portfolio for photography is due. yesterday (Saturday) i walked down to Office works and placed an order for my 6 photos to be printed on 8x10 photo paper. get back today, around 1ish, and they say come back in 45 mins. cuz they have to do something to get the printer working. i come back at 3ish, and they say their printer isn't working for 8x10 Xp ARGH!!! find Wellsley, who drives me to Leichhardt marketplace where Hayley said there is a Rabbit Photo that does prints, and she loaned me her members card. we get there, and Rabbit Photo no longer exists there! ARGH AGAIN!!! then we drive down to the Office Works off of parramatta road down in Five Docks. THEIR printer won't work for 8x10 either! so back to Leichhardt we go. and it closed at 4pm XP it is not almost 5... *sigh..* then we go to Coles inside Norton Plaza, hoping that they might do printing somewhere.. Answer: NOPE...
however... Hayley is helping me out and taking me to Sydney University tomorrow morning (only 15-20 mins away) and we're going to get my photos printed there. so ya.. fingers crossed, cuz i REALLY need these photos! FOR TOMORROW! (and, incidentally, prepare a 5min presentation on the photos, have them backed to black cardboard, and have them on a disc for the prof. AND come in formal/business wear for our professional portraiture shots.. grrreeeeaaaaat....)

ya.. I've also been EXTREMELY homesick lately.. really missing my Penn2 boys.. but then again.. i also realized that i've been trying to live vicariously thru the pictures and videos they send me, but then I'm the one in Australia... so WHY am i wasting my time sitting in my room on my computer when i could out DOING something AMAZING in AUSTRALIA? it doesn't make sense!

ah well... i'm going to try and get better about that.. that doesn't negate the fact that i've been homesick.. if you have the cash and the time, PLEASE SEND ME MAIL!!! it's hard to find Reese's peanut butter cups here.. for a good price anyway XP so please send me some! or a card or a letter or something that lets me know you're thinking of me.. i've gotten this weird idea that if you miss me or have been thinking of me, unless you actually do something about it, you may as well not have.. *shrugs* no, it's not fair.. i know. but that's what things kinda boil down to sometimes...

oh, i guess i should let you guys know... i'm really struggling with... a LOT of things.. for one, my faith. is almost... non-existent? right now.. not really sure how to explain it.. but almost ALL of my foundations are being not only shaken but SHATTERED. and i'm finding it really hard to find ANY motivation to do ANYTHING. not singing, writing, drawing, or anything. which is really sad, when you stop and remember that those things are the REASONS that i came here. and i had three huge dreams that were propelling me onward. now i can hardly remember them, as they are just a dim and dull memory.. that should not be so. i'm also getting really depressed really easily.. i can't say anythign in detail on here, (so ask me if you really want to know), but there is a bit of a family crisis at home in America.. which makes being HERE so much harder.

it's funny, y'know.. cuz i was having panic attacks before coming to Australia.. cuz i was so scared about the classes and the workload and the fact that God was going to break me, and i wouldn't have any of my safety nets.. but God's been breaking me in completely different ways.. and it scares me. and i lose hope SO many times.. but somehow i've kept going. idk how.. sometimes i feel completely alone over here.. and so i try to cling on to my friends back at letu, but a lot of times people won't have time for me.. so sometimes i'm burning the candle at both ends.. cuz Wesley institute is such a small school (300 students!) that it's all in cliques.. and the ASC students are kinda.. lumped into one group. and i've always HATED being lumped in with a group. so i drift away, and try to find one or two people that i can relate to. i've found a few who i can actually call friend and not just Australian-whose-name-and-face-i-know-because-we-go-to-the-same-uni...

ya.. there's a LOT that i haven't said about all of that.. b/c it's been going on all semester, and i just realized it a few weeks ago. but never wrote a blog about it.. so ya.. here's everything in one huge mess that probably doesn't make any sense.. but my life kinda feels like that.. so it fits, right?

5 more weeks... i can do this, right? let's hope so.